Lucas stormtrooper free figure contest!

[AJ Collector]

OK so it was a midget and a smurf who walk in a dinner, or was it a church, no,no, it was a bar...was it? oh the hell with it.....

[jwyblejr]

Another genie joke.

A guy finds a magic lamp with a genie. Genie tells him "You have three wishes." "Okay" the guy says. "First,wish I want a fancy car." "Done." "Second wish I want a million dollars." "Done. What about your third wish?" "Not sure. Let me think about it." Later,the guy is driving down the road in his new car and starts singing "Oh I wish I was an Oscar Myer Wiener." *poof*

[steshell]

A brunette goes to the doctors and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"That's strange " says the doctor, "Let me see"
She touches her arm with her finger and screams, she touches her leg and screams, she pushes her knee and screams, she touches her foot and she screams.
The doctor says " You're not really a brunette are you, you're a blonde".
"Yes I'm a blonde really" says the girl, "Why"
"Because you've broken your finger, that's why" said the doctor.


Steve

[drzaius1]

A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding...


Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?


Traffic Cop: Yes ma'am, I'm afraid you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Traffic Cop: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: Well, I would give it to you but I don't have one.

Traffic Cop: Don't have one?

Older Woman: No. I lost it 4 years ago for drunk driving.



Traffic Cop: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Traffic Cop: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Traffic Cop: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Traffic Cop: You what!?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see

The traffic cop looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car while calling for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: My colleague here tells me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner? Are you serious?!

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The traffic cop is quite stunned.

Officer 2: My colleague claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license quizzically.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, but I am puzzled, as I was told by my officer here that you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner!

Older Woman: Bet the lying ******* told you I was speeding, too.

[alex]

What did the blonds left leg say to the right leg, after the summer holiday?

Its great to be together again

[GlobalObserver]

Question: Why did the MEGO collector cross the road?

Answer: Because someone was having a garage sale, and he thought it would be a worthwhile endeavor to spend the better part of a Sunday afternoon rummaging through box after box of broken Barbie doll parts in hope of maybe finding a naked John Boy Walton figure that he could salvage and customize into yet another red shirt Trek crewman.

[AJ Collector]

Wait I remember......A midget and a smurf walk into a ***** house and the madam asks whos first....the midget says take my friend cause he has the worst case of blue balls I have ever seen!

[Fuzzysnail]

Q: What did the Leper tell the prostitute?
A: Keep the tip.

[Fuzzysnail]

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang
at 2 in the morning. The very blonde wife picked up the phone,
listened a moment and said 'How should I know, that's 200 miles
from here!' and hung up.
The husband said, 'Who was that?'

The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.'

[Fuzzysnail]

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and
buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the
door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really
angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is
overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'
The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'

[Fuzzysnail]

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US
Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what
Roe vs. Wade was about.

Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, 'That was the decision
George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware .'

[Fuzzysnail]

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and
reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio,
and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde
ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then
sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come
home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do
they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!'

[alex]

Who makes more money, a prostitute or a drug dealer ?

A prostitute, because she can always rewash her crack and sell it.

[bizzaro megomauler]

What kind of Bee makes milk?


boo-bees

[livnxxxl]