How long would you wait?

[Hector]

I'm not talking about marriage. Why in the world would you wanna do that again? (just teasing, you married fellas)

I'm taking about being a playa...fool...

[jwyblejr]

A respectful amount of time...like say a week, or two?

Sounds like my ex-brother-in-law.

[Brazoo]

I have no idea.

I've read a few times that statistically people who were happiest in their marriage are the ones who remarry the quickest after they're widowed. No idea if that's true.

[MIB41]

Good question. I guess circumstances really dictate how that works for each person. How good your marriage is may be one factor. What your personal beliefs are may be another. But ultimately whatever your choice, it has to be something YOU can live with. All the people in the world can agree on something accept the one person having to make that decision. But if it doesn't work for that one person, then he should go with what works for him and forget the consensus. That's a very personal decision.

[Iron Mego]

I have thought of this, for some morbid reason, and I'm pretty sure I would spend a SIGNIFICANT amount of time sowing the wild oats that I did not sow prior to meeting my wife. Sort of feel I missed out on some fun times back when I was single, which was for a considerable time. I certainly would not feel the need to find a life-partner again, but if it happened that would be okay. I think I'd want to be single for quite awhile.

[Splitty]

Honestly, I don't think there's ever a blanket answer to that question. It all depends on the individual and circumstances. I don't think it's as much about time limit as it is about personalities.

My boyfriend passed around maybe 8 years agoish. I rarely dated before that, and probably rarely will (if ever). But that's just me, somebody else who had a more active dating lifestyle will probably be back at it more quickly.

He filled a hole in my life, before that my life was only half lived. He let me experience what life was supposed to really be like, and in that short 7 years we dated on and off I feel like we lived a lifetime. I am forever grateful how he enriched my life. Do I miss him? You betcha, quite often. Would I date again? Maybe. The only snag there is I don't match up with anyone, ever. I'm am completly and totally unmatchable, more so than ever.

Besides I've never ever been one to date as a pastime or so I won't be alone, those shenanigans annoy the heck out of me. If it isn't 'right', why bother? There's so many other fun things to be doing. <--[psychotic laugh]

So perhaps after a loved one passes, people date less frivolously, only when there's something rich and worthwhile there? Yes? No?

[Toy Talk]

Nobody could ever live up to my wife in my heart,head, or life. I am better because we are together. Without my wife I am not the person I want to be anymore. The answer is never because I could never love anyone else the way I love my wife. God forbid anything ever happens to my wife, but if something horrible happened I would live the rest of my days knowing we shared a love like no other.

[MegoMark71]

my wife already warned me that if something happens to her, I better not meet anyone or she'll haunt me forever so that answers my question

Our wife's must know each other cause i have heard that same thing almost word for word.

[Adam West]

How about this scenario which is true. My aunt has full blown alzheimer's disease is in assisted living, my uncle is just a stranger to her, etc. He loves her and visits her every day, but he is a bit older (his kids are older than me) and wants companionship. He asked my mom's opinion about whether or not she thought it was ok as he was torn between being faithful to his wife who is still alive but will never recognize him again nor share intimate moments and moving on with life and seeking some companionship. Any viewpoints on this?

[jimsmegos]

How about this scenario which is true. My aunt has full blown alzheimer's disease is in assisted living, my uncle is just a stranger to her, etc. He loves her and visits her every day, but he is a bit older (his kids are older than me) and wants companionship. He asked my mom's opinion about whether or not she thought it was ok as he was torn between being faithful to his wife who is still alive but will never recognize him again nor share intimate moments and moving on with life and seeking some companionship. Any viewpoints on this?

Now that's a tough situation. While he has needs he would surely also have guilt. Damn.

[Iron Mego]

I guess that one depends on how literally you take, "In sickness and in health, until death do us part."

[Iron Mego]

Although "companionship" could simply entail a close friendship.

[Brad]

How about this scenario which is true. My aunt has full blown alzheimer's disease is in assisted living, my uncle is just a stranger to her, etc. He loves her and visits her every day, but he is a bit older (his kids are older than me) and wants companionship. He asked my mom's opinion about whether or not she thought it was ok as he was torn between being faithful to his wife who is still alive but will never recognize him again nor share intimate moments and moving on with life and seeking some companionship. Any viewpoints on this?

That is a very tough situation to be in. I can only hope that I never have to go through that.


IMHO there is no wrong answer for that. Your Uncle needs to do what is best for him regardless of what others think. The only thing I can think of is to see if he can find some sort of support group with people who have gone through the same situation and seek their advice/experience. I saw my great Uncle and my Grandpa suffer from that horrible disease and now my Aunt has it. Thankfully she still knows who we are right now but it's only a matter of time. It runs on my Dad's side of the family and if he hadn't died from a heart attack I believe he too would have fallen victim to this disease.

[Saroyan]

...If it isn't 'right', why bother? There's so many other fun things to be doing. <--[psychotic laugh]

So perhaps after a loved one passes, people date less frivolously, only when there's something rich and worthwhile there? Yes? No?

That is exactly why I dated a lot in my 20s- but rarely the same women for more than a few months at a time- and I was the one to end 95% of my relationships- they just weren't "right". I knew within a few weeks of meeting my wife that she was the right one for me- married for 12 years this April.

She has often remarked that when she is gone, I should re-marry and she wouldn't fault me at all- I would want her to find happiness if it was with someone else after I was gone- ok.

How long would I wait- I have no idea.....how long do those Russian bride transactions take to process??

[kingdom warrior]

I would never go into another relationship... oh hell to the no!!!!