Battling depression

[Mikey]

I've never went to a doctor for it but I think I at least mindly suffer from depression.

[jp1969]

Anyone here or spouse fighting depression? I'm dealing with my wife who's is in the middle of a valley with it.

just curious how you or they deal with it without going nuts with frustration of wanting to help but not being able too

I went through a situation like yours in early 2000.
I found the best way to deal with a person who is feeling low is to offer your shoulder but not for you to carry them all the way.
They need to realize solutions for themselves for the most part.
I found keeping things light and diverting attention a great remedy.
I took my ex wife to see Forrest Gump one night and saw her general outlook take a turn for the better.
I also remember getting her out of bed(she had been in it for 2 days)by playing the sesame street theme full blast on the stereo and singing along with it.She couldnt help but laugh.
Not sure if I offered any help,just thought I could tell you a little bit from my experiences.


Do'nt give up.
My best to you both.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXqMzmFSX_4

[Adam West]

I'll send out a PM and discuss offline.

C-Monster, depression and other forms of mental illness is not something you can just snap out of or control. It isn't a matter of opinion. It is a real medical illness just like diabetes.

I had to educate myself on the subject matter since I am also dealing with a spouse with mental health issues. It is different than the normal depressive states we all feel every once in a while.

Most of the illnesses are caused by neurotransmitters not functioning properly in the brain which over or underproduces certain hormones, blocks various chemicals from releasing into the body causing the mental illness.

Unfortunately, mental illness is one area that the general public is still generally uneducated and it is still stigmatized today. I admit myself that I didn't know what I now know after experiencing illness first hand via my wife and educating myself on the subject matter.

[lepage]

There are still a lot of people in this world who think that depression is a switch you can turn on or off. There was a time in my life when if someone said they were depressed I would think to myself "quit your whining and snap out of it!".
That is until I came down with depression myself. I have CLINICAL depression as a direct result of an ongoing medical condition I have.

I can only speak for myself but I have learned that the medication avenue is hit or miss as everyone is different. Just because something works for one person doesn't mean it works for the next.
I also found that diet and exercise really does help alleviate the symptoms. I am not saying turn into a health nut but a long walk goes a long way.

My heart goes out to you and your wife. I totally understand what she is dealing with. Just continue to be there for her and encourage here to continue to do the right thing (doctors/meds.) and after the right balance is found, she should start to feel more like herself again.

[David Lee]

Am I the only one who is really depressed about not being at MM?

ironic - Both coincidental and contradictory in a humorous or poignant and extremely improbable way


-Dave

[Rextasy]

At the risk of sounding pessimistic, there's NO easy answer, and, as much as we know, we're still in the dark ages where mental health is concerned.

To reiterate others here, counseling is always good, and medication, as frustratingly hit-and-miss as it may be, can make all the difference. Your wife's feeling of being stuck and not being able to see beyond the now is absolutely typical of depression, and that's what makes it so insidious. A depressed person is inclined not to want help.

Depressed persons want to give up. They can't see where all the therapy might be leading. A certain med quits working, or the person thinks the side effects aren't worth it, and they want to give up. Your wife is indeed lucky to have someone who understands, and my best advice is not to give up and to try not to let her give up.

[megoscott]

I had a manic-depresive girlfriend for several years, she ended up hospitalized a few times. Not fun at all. I don't have much to add to what was said here except this---You may need to get some help too. It's a very hard thing to cope with, it's hard to remain supportive and understanding, and if you want to help her you need to also take care of yourself. Ask your caregivers about support resources for you, find a buddy you can confide in and be honest with. Because in the midst of being supportive and understanding you sometimes want to scream about it.

[Riffster]

went to the Dr myself today, my sit down pulse was clocked at 120, i now have tranqs and a new heart med(pre-existing for me). and a referal to see my own shrink, i have decided to not tell her the current health situation as it will make things alot worse cause she'll blame herself

wife is off to what i hope is the first step to her and in the end us getting well

[Zemo]

went to the Dr myself today, my sit down pulse was clocked at 120, i now have tranqs and a new heart med(pre-existing for me). and a referal to see my own shrink, i have decided to not tell her the current health situation as it will make things alot worse cause she'll blame herself

wife is off to what i hope is the first step to her and in the end us getting well

Good to hear. Like I and others have said, depression runs at so many different levels everyone is not the same. I was fortunate enough to have one simple pill a day worked for me right off the bat, but my depression was just off normal but enough to **** me off and see a doc. If I had to go off it completely, which I have I'm fine just not as positive and tend to drink more.

[AJ Collector]

went to the Dr myself today, my sit down pulse was clocked at 120, i now have tranqs and a new heart med(pre-existing for me). and a referal to see my own shrink, i have decided to not tell her the current health situation as it will make things alot worse cause she'll blame herself

wife is off to what i hope is the first step to her and in the end us getting well

TAKE CARE OF YOUR SELF BRO......

[MIB41]

God bless you Riffster. SO much to cover here, but en light of your current medical condition, I will say just this - Remember you can only control yourself and how you react to outside stimuli. Everyone takes their own journey and even when we think we have the answers for others, those individuals have to discover that for themselves. Too often people don't believe in anything unless they can feel it. Get up each day and make the most of what you can do and have faith the rest will take care of itself. You sound like a great person Riffster. You just have to know that for yourself. I wish you the very best.

[Riffster]

gotta say I'm not impressed with her first visit to her shrink.. he recommended seperation so she has space to think... I guess it's a good thing that Jen said no that's not what she wants...

[Bizarro Amy]

That seems odd, to want you to separate, when you're working so hard to support her. I would think that he'd recommend some kind of couples therapy or marriage counseling in order to help keep the relationship healthy. Does insurance cover your counseling sessions? If so, they might allow you to change doctors if you don't like this one. I'm not saying run to someone else immediately, but if he seems to be counter-productive to your marriage, make sure you know your options.

[Riffster]

changing Docs wouldn't be an option, jen likes this guy, saw him for 5 years before and helped her through her first bout. i just have to trust in our love. and soon as she's ready get us into counceling, i understand she needs to get her head straight first, so patience is the magic word

[Riffster]

update.. I'm no longer living in my home... it all came to ahead yesterday. I couldn't stop asking questions and giving her the space she needed to think. so i volunteered to move out, for how long i have no idea..fortunatly i have friend with a room who has offered it for as long as I need it. I'm miserable, I have never felt this low in my life..
If you have a spouse or significant other.. hug them and hold them tight. tell tem you love them.