Battling depression

[toystalker]

im afraid my brush with depression story may not be helpfull or have a happy ending but i feel your pain and will share away

for nearlly 5 years i battled on with a partner who had many many issues, and yes i understood that losing loved ones is a big player, she had lost both! parents, while i had lost a brother, we found we had something in common to talk about at 1st, then as the relashionship went on, things got worse, i carried on as normal, working socialising and getting on with life but she was stuck in a rut, she had no work, started taking minor class drugs and was very hard to deal with at times, i stuck in there and gave her all the support i could, i loved her very much, we tried to start a family thinking that would help, turns out she could not concieve, and that only added to the depression.

she eventually seeked medical advice and got herself a social worker/shrink who helped out in weekly listening sessions
as the years went by i found myself falling into depression also... having all her issues on my shoulders got me down on a regular basis, there was a lot of stuff going on that i wont go into here but times were hard.
she got some medication which gives you a false lift and while she was high as a kite i was unhappy and we started to drift, when she was on the uppers it was hard to keep pace with the red bull style pace and then she would come down with a bang
i started to feel very down i didnt realise i was suffering some form of depression myself until the very end, one dark day apparently i was found out in the country side sat in a field one mile by one w=mile wide i was in the middle just sat there, luckily i answered my mobile phone and told a friend where i was, im not totally aware and not totally sure to this day how i got there, i just wandered off in a dark depressive manor and sat there, dont know if i was thinking straight but looking back and that was like 6 years ago ish that i may have gone there to harm myself? although i dint have anything to harm myself with, maybe i was waiting for the aliens to pick me up... to cut a very long 5 year story short, near the end i arranged a holiday for me my daughter and her, last minute she diecided not to go, i still went as it was for my girls birthday treat and while i was away my partner decided to start an affiar, it broke me. i was utterly devasted and lost, i tried to patch things up and said id forgive her but i knew i never really could, she then proceeded to leave me for this other person who turned out to be a close family friend of ours, she later got some treatment and caught for a child, i hear they are still together now and that she is very unhappy, has been beaten a few times by the guy and she beats him back, both taking drugs and living la vida loca

me... i turned out fine (i think lol) after a while it felt like the whole world was lifted off my shoulders as i carried around her problems and mine
i still think of her alot and still have feelings as you do but boy oh boy my life is so much different now
i dont really know if my story is about my depressions or hers but sadly the only answer was for us to seperate for at least one of us to live a better life

living with and coping with depression is very very tough... i feel your pain and wish you all the very best in life
truth is theres very little you can do to lift someone from there depression you just take each day at a time

its still ongoing and sad for her... for me im only glad that im here to tell this story

[Zemo]

Anyone here or spouse fighting depression? I'm dealing with my wife who's is in the middle of a valley with it.

just curious how you or they deal with it without going nuts with frustration of wanting to help but not being able too

It depends what kind of depression she has. Manic or Bi-polar is very very hard to control.

If it's just regular depression(finding it hard get out of bed, nothing to look forward to etc) then it is very easily treated now. For people that think it's in your attitude your wrong. Your brain emits neurotransmitters, these chemicals stimulate the other parts of your brain. That is how caffeine, nicotine booze everything that give you buzz even exercise make you feel different.

Your brain naturally produces these and make you feel good or normal. Some peoples brains for whatever reason (there's a lot) Stop producing enough of these transmitters and thus you feel down. Some more than others, but to some degree you find yourself walking around, even when things a great, feeling bummed.

For these people, including myself for the past three years there are multitude of drugs that help. Lexapro is the cleanest no side effect anti-depression med out there. It's raises the amount of neurotransmitters your brain is producing.

I didn't need counseling to realize this. For me it would come for a week or so at first, I would just feel bored and stuck. Then it would pass. But it kept coming back for longer stays, then to the point I was just always kinda bummed all the time, about nothing. I was severely depressed, but I knew I used to feel a lot better. I knew what it was.

So, I go see the Doc and and tell my story and he put me on Lexapro. I feel just like I did when I was in my twenty's, bound out of bed in the morning ready to start the day. I see him only 4 time a year and it didn't take a bunch of therapy. It was as simple as boosting my neurotransmitters in my brain.

I also might add that weed has a lot of the same effects, but that's omho.

I just want add I should have used the word Endorphins several times in this post as to what I was referring to. I'm not a shrink lol

[fallensaviour]

I feel your pain and wish you well and hope it works out for you.
Long story short;
My first wife suffered from depression and was on meds for it.
She went off them she also liked to drink,so booze and depression is a bad mix.
I worked as a paramedic at the time and was away from home during the nights alot.
she met somebody else she felt he made her happy so I left.
We divorced she married the fifth guy she dated after me they divorced a couple years later.She is now 38 no children and engaged again.
After we separated 6 months later I met my current wife we have three children and have been together over 14 years.

Life is a strange journey we never know where it will take us.
Again good luck this is a rough road to walk.

[GaryPlaysWithDolls]

I find the harderst part of my own depression is that it isn't "sad" so much as just "blah." At times, I don't care if I get better, that it is all impossible and too much. I read somewhere that people who are depressed that commit suicide, do it when they start to feel better because they have the energy and drive to commit to something, even if it is ending there own lives. To blah to kill yourself. Should give you some clue as to how some of us feel.

I hope for the best for your wife.

[MegoSteve]

I'm not skeptical. Not a doctor either... Chemical or otherwise... Don't know. I think most people misunderstood my post, which is what I was afraid of. I'm not insensitive, nor do I take it lightly. My post simply meant that I personally believe that we are in control of our own feelings... For someone to say that they wake up every day and feel depressed because of a chemical imbalance, is just something I personally cannot relate to, that's all. Not judging anyone or anything like that.

I sincerely hope your wife feels better, man.

SC

I know you don't mean it to be, but it is insensitive. Saying you believe everyone is in control of their feelings because you are and therefore you can't relate to it is like saying to a paralyzed man that you can't relate to his handicap and you believe everyone can control their limbs.

Seriously... it is precisely because their feelings are out of their control that they are considered depressed, and the fact that you think it's just a matter of bucking up is just ridiculous in the 21st century.

Are you a Scientologist or something? Sheesh.

[EmergencyIan]

Good luck to your wife and to you.

- Ian

[Hector]

Come on guys...let's not be so critical of Cmonster's comments...it's HIS opinion.

He did not insult anyone here...he just happens to have a different point of view on the matter.

I have had my own battles with depression...have been on medication as well...but in no way shape or form...did I get bent out of shape with what CM said...really...it's just an opposing view...I'm sure there was no disrespect intended.

[toys2cool]

sorry to hear that man, sending prayers your way

[BlackKnight]

Get Yourself some Coke and a Hooker.

Yeah ..., my poor attempt at Humor...., perhaps.

[Bizarro Amy]

Come on guys...let's not be so critical of Cmonster's comments...it's HIS opinion.

He did not insult anyone here...he just happens to have a different point of view on the matter.

I have had my own battles with depression...have been on medication as well...but in no way shape or form...did I get bent out of shape with what CM said...really...it's just an opposing view...I'm sure there was no disrespect intended.

To express your opinions like that when someone is looking for support in dealing with a loved one's mental health is a little insensitive. I saw people tell him he was wrong, but I don't think anyone got bent out of shape.

[Hector]

yes she's been diagnosed and is on meds, however, she had stopped seeing her councelor right around the time we got married so about 8 years ago. except for minor bouts,
now she asks herself is this is all life is and has a feeling of being stuck, she has a general feeling of unhappiness.

She says she still loves me, and I love her, and have offered to go with her to therepy as she's going to start seeing her guy again. I'm willing to do pretty much anything to help her and us through this

Right move on both your parts...I wish you nothing but the best.

[Hector]

To express your opinions like that when someone is looking for support in dealing with a loved one's mental health is a little insensitive. I saw people tell him he was wrong, but I don't think anyone got bent out of shape.

Fair enough...

[VintageMike]

I've gone through the fight myself but refuse to take meds for fear I will come to rely on them. My answer is is try to keep myself in a "happy place" always keeping something positive in mind however small. I have bad days still but nothing like before I applied this principle. I can never say "there's nothing to look forward to" because to me even going to a movie or buying a DVD I want is something positive. As an aside I was at my lowest point in October 2001 contemplating suicide. I've been applying this principle since then and it's worked for me as I've never returned to that awful state of mind.

[MegoSteve]

Come on guys...let's not be so critical of Cmonster's comments...it's HIS opinion.

He did not insult anyone here...he just happens to have a different point of view on the matter.

He may not have meant to insult anyone, but what he said was sure insulting. I may be exaggerating a bit, but there's a whole subtext in his words that people with mental illnesses are just lazy fakers who don't have real problems, and that's really not very nice to say in the context of someone looking for advice and support. That was a pretty commonly held opinion back in the old days before psychology and psychiatry and science and I guess my overreaction is a result of being shocked anyone still thinks that way and the rudeness that he decided to introduce that opinion in this thread.

[Cmonster]

To express your opinions like that when someone is looking for support in dealing with a loved one's mental health is a little insensitive. I saw people tell him he was wrong, but I don't think anyone got bent out of shape.

; )

SC