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Funny you mention it. I was getting high earlier in this crappy store me and my friends hang out at in Detroit. This dude came in, but he was acting all suspicious of us like we were gonna use his card# or something. Anyway...I bought almost exactly what you just described for 25 bucks. We were all high so he gave me a deal. Far out man...
"Steel-like jaws clacked away, each bite slashing flesh from my body - I used my knife and my hands, and when they were gone, my bloody stumps - and yet the turtles came."
You should have waited a few minutes, and then when Ziggy Stardust and friends start talking to the nails in the floor, you could have rescued Cap from that man made hell!! I'm not suggesting theft of course, you could drop a buck or two on the counter on the way out. If you wanted to have a little fun, you could have taped or glued the money to the counter and watched Ziggs and pals try to pick it up.
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