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  • Hector
    el Hombre de Acero
    • May 19, 2003
    • 31852

    Classic Craigslist listing

    THE QUESTION

    Woman - I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all. I dated a business man who makes average around
    200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get
    me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married
    to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as
    I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

    Here are my questions specifically:

    - Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
    restaurants, gyms

    -What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my
    feelings

    -Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

    - Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east
    side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have
    nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead
    gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story
    there?

    - Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment
    banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
    hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

    - How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for
    MARRIAGE ONLY


    THE ANSWER

    Answer Given By Man- I have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.

    Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a cr@ppy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely
    that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!

    So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

    So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

    Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

    By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

    With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump." I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

    sigpic
  • Riffster
    Atomic batteries to power
    • Jun 29, 2008
    • 2487

    #2
    now that's funny
    Looking for Infinite Heroes Robin and Catwoman
    And Super Powers Batman

    Comment

    • huedell
      Museum Ball Eater
      • Dec 31, 2003
      • 11069

      #3
      Funny? Yes.

      Harrowing? Yes.
      "No. No no no no no no. You done got me talkin' politics. I didn't wanna'. Like I said y'all, I'm just happy to be alive. I think I'll scoot over here right by this winda', let this beautiful carriage rock me to sleep, and dream about how lucky I am." - Chris Mannix

      Comment

      • toys2cool
        Ultimate Mego Warrior
        • Nov 27, 2006
        • 28605

        #4
        lmao! that was good

        what the hell is this chick thinking?

        No offense but for that I just go to Russia and get me one of them hotties that would marry you for nothing as long as you bring them over here
        "Time to nut up or shut up" -Tallahassee

        http://ultimatewarriorcollection.webs.com/
        My stuff on facebook Incompatible Browser | Facebook

        Comment

        • vulcan2074
          Live Long and Prosper
          • Mar 23, 2008
          • 7817

          #5
          That is so Funny. Awesome Reply.
          VuLcAn2074

          Comment

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