What would you do if you were me?

[Adam West]

She's a bit naiive to the whole situation....keep in mind she's not even 11 yet.

My best guess is that the father is talking to her about High School soccer already and to make the team she needs to develop her field skills....this is very sad but parents are so competitive they are thinking this far ahead.

I have girls play positions that isn't their first choice all the time. I have one girl who is a superb defender but isn't a good offensive player and wants to play offense. I am giving her opportunities on offense to help develop that skill with the understanding that she keep up with the defensive skills and keep honing that as well.

The biggest mistake that this father is making is involving his daughter in the drama. Most mature parents will speak to me privately if they have a concern or suggestions regarding their daughter and I am always very approachable and willingly listen. This father should be speaking to me privately about his concerns regarding his daughter rather than passing messages through her. He has also told her to stand beside me on the sideline during a game and continually ask to go in no matter how much playing time I give her. I know this because it was part of his berrating email in the Fall.

The biggest problem this girl is going to have as she continues through the sports program is not being taught how to be respectful towards the coach.

[SUP-Ronin]

He has also told her to stand beside me on the sideline during a game and continually ask to go in no matter how much playing time I give her. I know this because it was part of his berrating email in the Fall.

The biggest problem this girl is going to have as she continues through the sports program is not being taught how to be respectful towards the coach.

That will quickly drive a coach insane. At a certain level, it is no longer about fairness, it's about winning. The players that are good, and the players that try hard with a good attitute get to play, the ones that stink, or have a bad attitude get to sit on the bench. You play the position where you are most needed and most useful, regardless of where you want to play. I know that isn't the case for the younger leagues, and everyone deserves to play there, but it won't always be like that for her. I bet her dad sucked at sports, but thought he was good. Sorry he is a pain.

By the way - Premier League and particularly Manchester United rules!!!!!!!!!!! Futbol is the absolute greatest sport ever!!!!!!!

[ctc]

>I have girls play positions that isn't their first choice all the time.

That's a great idea. It'll give them a chance to try something different, and develop new skills.

>The biggest mistake that this father is making is involving his daughter in the drama. Most mature parents will speak to me privately

True. I think you should remember that this guy probably THINKS he's doing what's best for his daughter; even though he's probably just causing more stress. Have you had an opportunity to actually EXPLAIN your position to him?

Don C.

[Adam West]

>I have girls play positions that isn't their first choice all the time.

That's a great idea. It'll give them a chance to try something different, and develop new skills.

>The biggest mistake that this father is making is involving his daughter in the drama. Most mature parents will speak to me privately

True. I think you should remember that this guy probably THINKS he's doing what's best for his daughter; even though he's probably just causing more stress. Have you had an opportunity to actually EXPLAIN your position to him?

Don C.

I have and he basically told me to take my "preaching" and put it away. He criticized my lineups and even told me during one game he was tempted to walk over at halftime during the game and ask me what the hell I'm thinking because he doesn't get it. This was last season, a year our team went undefeated and made it to the semi-finals of a league tournament until getting bumped out by an older and upper division team.

I really considered asking the soccer coordinator to move her to another team this Spring but after discussing it with my wife, decided I would honor my commitment to coach this girl this season and then I was done.

I decided not to play her at goalie this past weekend but she will be going in this upcoming weekend. As I said, if he doesn't like it, we can make other arrangements for her. Ultimately, she will be the one who loses out in this situation.

[Dave Mc]

When I used to direct TV coverage of High School Football, there was a father who used to go off about how his kid was the best player ever, yada yada. The kid was good, not great, but real good. The father was such a freak, he ended up getting banned from the HS games. We covered a game after he was banned, and somehow he snuck in. At the end of the game, we always picked a game MVP, and that kid was interviewed, got some gift certificates, etc... We didn't pick his kid as MVP that game. The kid played well, but turned over the ball twice (count them, one, TWO) times that game, so we just couldn't go with him.

This guy came unglued. He actually tried to attack our announcer who picks the MVP's. Came charging, screaming, ready to fight. Luckily we intercepted the guy before he got to our man (who would have actually kicked the crap out of him, so we saved the craziod).

My point is, some people become incredibly unstable when it comes to their kids and sports. They have this dream of a professional sports career, whether they are really good enough or not. I guess they fell if they believe it in their heads it must be true.
These people can't be reasoned with, no matter what you do.

Do what you feel you SHOULD do, what is right. This guy is going to come at you no matter what you do, so you might as well take the heat for doing what you think is best.

[Hector]

I think your wife's advice is sound. As a teacher, I get my share of cranky parents as well. If you are continuing on as coach, I would send all of the parents a general e-mail, stating that you will be instituting a no-tolerance good sports rule, that applies to both the kids, and parents. 3 strikes and you're out. If the kids get 3 strikes, they get cut from a game. If a parent gets 3 strikes, (i.e. being rude at games, being confrontational to coaches or other parents), their kids will be permenantly cut for the season. There is no excuse for that kind of behavior. Sports is meant to teach kids teamwork, cooperation, and good sportsmanship. If the parents can't handle these basic life concepts, their kids shouldn't be allowed to play. Harsh, but fair.

My sister was a teacher, and I had her read your post...she says you are so right on the money...she wished more teachers were like you.

[Hector]

You are too nice...had that father screamed at me...I would've kicked his sorry ***...right in front of princess.