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I think Grayhank is wrong. The child was in danger. It's not an assumption. It's a fact. A child that small is in danger all the time. From putting something in their mouths to walking out the open back door and falling in the swimming pool and drowning. The deal here is the grandmother presented a would-be child abducter with the opportunity to do something. Plain and simple. A child that small would have unlocked the door for anyone, I guarantee it. It doesn't matter if it actually happens or not. The opportunity was there. It's no different than if they were in Target in the toy isle and she tells little Joey to stay right here in the action figure section while she takes little Jannie to the Barbie isle only 3 isles away. She'll only be gone 2 minutes. Well, guess what. It only takes 2 minutes. Grandma was wrong for leaving the child in the car unattended and I'm sure she felt bad.
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sigpic WANTED: Boxed, Carded and Kresge Carded WGSH -
It's always an "accident" or mistake until some kids die. As a parent I find it hard to read about a child being put in harms way and it being an accident or mistake. I understand that everyone has an opinion on this but in my mind there is only one solution to this, do not put the kid in harms way.Comment
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Glad you were able to find a police officer.
Kudos for getting involved. I'd bet most people would turn a blind eye. As far as to the right or wrong of chastising, I completely understand both points of view but having been involved in a "situation" myself, your fight or flight response will kick and unless you have been involved in a situation like this, it's easy to sit back afterwards and discuss what you should or should not have done.
Last Fall, I had a few unfamiliar looking teenagers up in our cul-de-sac pitching bottles into the air and letting them smash onto the street. My 10 year old daughter was outside with some friends and ran in to tell me what was going on. I walked outside and saw glass all over the place and asked my daughter to point out the kid she saw throwing bottles. I walked right up to him and asked what he was doing and after some hemming and hawing, I asked him his name and where he lived. I immediately recognized the last name as a neighbor who lived two streets up and told him I knew his parents and that they would be disappointed to hear that he was smashing bottles in the street. I then told him I would grab a broom a pan and he was to clean up the mess he made.
At this point, the apparent leader of the group starts getting smart with me. I ask him his name and he gives me a name that I don't recognize and when I ask him where he lives, he tells me it's none of my business. I repeat to them to clean up the mess and walk inside my house trying to find the last name in our phone book.
The name is nowhere so I call the original kid over by himself and ask him what is the name of the other boy and he tells me something different and a last name I do recognize. At this point I call him by his real name and tell him I'm calling his parents to come over and he can explain to them why he is lying about his name and making a complete mess in the street.
This kid is about 17, 6 feet tall and suddenly takes a very aggressive posture with me, clenching his fists and starting to walk toward me. I am also 6 feet tall and in shape and immediately told the boy not to take another step toward me and even asked if he was planning to take a punch at me and informed him that if he did, I would kick the living $#@* out of him. Luckily, he stopped dead in his tracks.
In hindsight, should I have said what I said....I'm an adult, he's a kid....probably not. You get caught into one of these situations and you have no time to rationalize through the situation and flight or fight kicks in.
I did call the father who came down, the kid was completely belligerent and made it very clear that he was not going to apologize for anything.
The father stopped by my house the next day and thought he was going to apologize for his son's rude behavior. To my horror, the father told me that I was the adult and should have not threatened to fight back with his son and then indicated that his son knew martial arts.
I told the father that his son was the aggressor, I still wasn't sure who he was because he had lied to me about his name, is a kid who is almost the same size as me, and I was going to defend myself regardless of his age."The farther we go, the more the ultimate explanation recedes from us, and all we have left is faith."
~Vaclav HlavatyComment
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OK say he did nothing, just to see on the news that night that the girl was kidnaped or died in the car. You should never turn your back on somthing like this.
A few years ago in a nice part of MA a teen life gard walked home and was never seen again. Dosn't matter how "nice" a place is you never take for granted a child will be safe.Comment
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Adam West, it seems to me you did the exact right thing. The big kid was advancing on you, possibly with the intent to strike you. Your informing him that you would strike him was not illegal in any way, and was a self-defensive gambit that payed off. Well done.Comment
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Had you not stood up to him he would have kept on advancing and attempted to intimidate you. Standing up to him and hitting him are two different things. It's obvious from his father's reaction he already does this at home. Any parent that sides with a child acting that way to an adult should be slapped in the head. The father obviously doesn't have the nads to stand up to his own kid and discipline him so he knows how to act. This kid is nothing but a bully and as soon as he realized he was the one that might end up getting smacked if he continued he backed down. You were right not to hit him, as much as you may have wanted to, but he didn't have to know that. I think you handled it well.It's not a doll it's an action figure.Comment
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Adam West, I would have filed a police report at that point.
You may want to still, incase the punks vandilize your property there is a record of what they have done.Comment
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I would recommend a good can of mace for potentially violent situations were violence is inappropriate. I am well trained, and continue to train in self defense and martial arts. I will defend myself against anyone that threatens me, or those I care about, or those who can't defend themselves. Age has very little to do with it. A guy I worked with got the snot beat out of him by a thug 17yo, and he was in his 20's. The 17yo was arrested for assault, but that didn't help the poor guys face any.
However with the case of an upitty teen, a blast of Mace (the good stuff) to the face wouldn't be considered assault, but would let you maintain control of the situation, without an embarrassing arrest or injury. I think you handled it well. Hope they don't come back and key your car.
I am not saying use it first, but given no other option, it is a reasonable option. Everyone must remember that it is easy to pick these situations apart in hindsight, but much harder when it is actually happening, and there isn't time to consider hypothetical outcome of every decision you might make."Steel-like jaws clacked away, each bite slashing flesh from my body - I used my knife and my hands, and when they were gone, my bloody stumps - and yet the turtles came."Comment
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If you put a loaded gun on a table it will NEVER kill anyone. PERIOD. It will sit there until the end of time. It only becomes dangerous when a human being picks it up. Same for a car. A car in park running will NEVER kill anyone until a drunk gets behind the wheel and puts it in drive. I don't believe in doing away with guns anymore than I believe in doing away with cars.
I am also looking at it more that the child could have been abducted rather than die of heat exposure. True, she was potentially in danger. But it's a danger that could have been avoided. And you are right. None of us here can tell anyone how to raise their own kids no matter if we have them ourselves or not. It's true about the generation thing. My grandparents use to leave their front doors unlocked all the time, wheather they were home or not. You can't do that nowadays.Last edited by ScottA; Apr 1, '08, 11:53 AM.sigpic WANTED: Boxed, Carded and Kresge Carded WGSHComment
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It's against the law to leave a animal or child in a locked car MA. She broke the law.Comment
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In my case, I immediately discussed the issue with a neighbor of mine who is a police officer and asked for advice on whether or not I did the right thing and whether or not I should follow up with a police report.
He told me the same thing most of you said. Basically, this kid is nothing but a punk who was probably trying to look cool by taking an aggressive posture toward me around his friends knowing that I as an adult would not throw the first punch. He said he has seen this over and over and calling the police does almost nothing because of his parents. So in this case, he recommended calling the police if they even stepped foot in the our cul-de-sac again and explaining the previous incident. He said the 17 year old will probably tell the police office "it's a free country" in which case a restraining order would be slapped on him. This incident by the way occurred in the Fall and I have not any problems since.
My main point of the story is that when you are the type of person who does not look the other way and will get involved in a situation as mine or the baby in the car seat, logical reasoning gets thrown aside and your natural instincts kick in. Was public humiliation necessary? I don't know.
But kudos for stepping in and doing what you think was right because I do believe most people would look the other way."The farther we go, the more the ultimate explanation recedes from us, and all we have left is faith."
~Vaclav HlavatyComment
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