Just picked up the latest in phone technology..

[J.B.]

The Academy was having a sale.

Sadly I can't view porn or anything cool like that on the screen, but the range on this baby is amazing. Last night I pulled it out in the middle of a crowded restaurant and made a call to the Alpha Centauri star system. The chicks near me were so impressed that they started laughing.

And I can send out a distress signal to the wife if we're running low on gin. This thing is awesome.

[Confessional]

Ah!, the perfect device to order up a Sapphire & tonic with a lime.