Stuff movies can do without

[ctc]

So;

Having been trapped on the couch for almost three weeks due to illness, I watched a LOT of tv. This included more than a few movies, and I noticed a bunch of things I really don't need to see any more:

-McGuffins: Can we write a movie where someone isn't chasing after something? Especially if it's a glowing cube.

-"YOU are the chosen one!": Not only is it a lazy way to pull everything together, it cheapens the effort everyone puts in. Why bother if Hero McWonderguy is DESTINED to save the day?

-CCCHHHHAAARRRGGEEE!!!!!: Does EVERYTHING have to end with a Kurosawa-esque mass combat?

-"I hate you!/I love you!": We know the two lead characters are gonna fall for each other, you don't HAVE to make them fight right off to stress the point. 'Course that's weird how we now associate conflict with passion. (No wonder the divorce rate is around 50%.)

Any others?

Don C.

[Mikey]

Three Amigos:

You meet Cochise.

At first you think he's a terrible guy.

You fight,

then you get to know him.

You come to respect each other,

and at the end of the picture...

you're friends.

m

[Random Axe]

Using children as danger bait. Directors put kids in precarious situations that nobody should survive, but yet they do cause there's some unwritten film code that prohibits killing kids. They think it's going to cause tension and suspense, and it often succeeds despite our knowledge that they are going to be fine. The monster's jaws lock on the kid's boot allowing him to escape it's huge mouth. I'm not advocating Jedi youngling mass slaughter, just stop using children in peril as a filmmaking tool.

[ctc]

>and at the end of the picture...
>you're friends.

That's a good one. I believe it leads directly to the bromance....

>just stop using children in peril as a filmmaking tool

....unless you're actually gonna kill a few off. That's a good one too. I'm not a fan of kids in films at all, 'cos they tend to write them as tiny adults, or useless McGuffins. I think the last decent film with a kid in it I saw was "Eight Legged Freaks." And prior to that, "The Monster Squad."

Don C.

[BlackKnight]

Why Does Every Batman Movie ...
Need to Have a Love Interest for Batman ?.
Stupid.

[kingdom warrior]

Why Does Every Batman Movie ...
Need to Have a Love Interest for Batman ?.
Stupid.

That's pretty much all superhero movies now, they want the audience to know they like tapping some booty!....lol

[jwyblejr]

That or everybody in the movie has to know the superheroes secret ID. It's called a secret ID for a reason,people.

[Brazoo]

Oh boy, I think I could come up with a few of these:

Vapid and borderline irresponsible messages, like "always believe in magic", "take your work less seriously", or "following your dream is always the right thing to do". Honestly, Western civilization does not NEED more confirmation for people to be less rational of more selfish than they already are. Enough! Worse still, is how these messages are sloppily shoehorned into almost every second rate high concept comedy just so the movie can conform to a Robert McKee structure.

Superheroes. I'm sick of the comic adaptations, but I'm mainly referring to the fact that every action hero seems to be plugged into the Matrix going on 20 years now. I'm sick of it. My favorite action movies are ones where the heroes have fantastic abilities, but are also vulnerable. Raiders, Die Hard, these guys end up half dead, it makes it exciting.

A related point: It's weird when people do an action movie set in the distant past. What's the point when the heroes just end up with some type of steam punk machine gun anyways? Isn't it more exiting to see the hero face a challenge by forcing them to use ancient technology or fighting abilities?

Narration introducing the movie - a lazy movie tells, and doesn't show. This trend seems to be getting more popular.

Nearly EVERY movie with a team has the team temporarily break up or separate right before the last act starts. This obviolsly includes romantic pairings as well. Haven't we had enough of this yet?

The songs "Get Together", "Black Betty", "Bad to the Bone"...no movie should use any of these ever again. Enough already. Also related, does every comedy with a CG character NEED to have that character sing a slightly outdated hip hop song? Is it a bylaw or something?

[Captain Awesome]

Mine is sparkle-y vampires. Can't stand em. Vampires are supposed to be ferocious, cold hearted creatures with lustful appetites...not sparkle-y and romantic. UGH!!!

[johnmiic]

-"I hate you!/I love you!": We know the two lead characters are gonna fall for each other, you don't HAVE to make them fight right off to stress the point. 'Course that's weird how we now associate conflict with passion. (No wonder the divorce rate is around 50%.)

Yeah, for once I'd love to see a romantic comedy where the woman starts out with filing a restraining order then realizes the guy really is the only one for her. That's more true to real life and has even happened to me more than once.

[thunderbolt]

Adam Sandler, plain and simple.

[ctc]

>Adam Sandler, plain and simple.

HAW! There are a few actors I'd like to see go away for a while.... not neccessarily 'cos they suck; but because when I see Bruce Willis jump out the back of a pickup I'm not thinking "It's Duke!" I'm thinking "It's Die Hard!!!"

>Why Does Every Batman Movie ...
>Need to Have a Love Interest for Batman ?.

That's one I missed! Why does every MOVIE need a love interest? (It's because they'll get 2.3% more female viewers that way....)

>Vapid and borderline irresponsible messages,

Another good one. (DAMN YOU; Ralph Maccio!!!!) It ties into my most hated Chosen One trope; the idea that the hero wins not through effort but because they somehow "deserve" to.

>every action hero seems to be plugged into the Matrix going on 20 years now

Oh yeah; another one I missed. That's because of "Commando." The film softened the action up, cartoonied it up, gave the hero impunity to act, and made mayhem "fun." We've been living with the aftermath ever since. (Even "Die Hard" suffered from it. The hero is shown to injure his feet on broken glass, but minutes later rappels down a building and kicks in a plate glass window.)

>Mine is sparkle-y vampires.

To quote Bart Simpson; "you girls ruin everything, even monsters."

> for once I'd love to see a romantic comedy where the woman starts out with filing a restraining order then realizes the guy really is the only one for her

Or the man. Even then; it'd all work out. The chick flick formula is that the woman whines about not having a man, and early on meets Mr Right. But doesn't realize it, and the argue, squabble and generally hate each other. She then meets Mr Right Now; who SEEMS perfect but is revealed to have some flaw.... at which point she realizes the first guy is the REAL Mr Right.... but he's moved on with some horrid new woman, who the hero eventually demonstrates is horrible, they get together, the end. Every. Single. Time. (Unless one of them is dying of something. If your chick flick is progressing well, you're obviously walking into a brain tumor.) I'd like to see Mr Right find someone awesome and forget all about the hero; who then dies alone and broken.

In a lot of ways the chick flick formula is the girly version of the Chosen One trope.

Don C.

[Drzsmith]

Kick *** 2 was a string of horrible music videos...I really hate when that happens.

[Mego Magyar]

That or everybody in the movie has to know the superheroes secret ID. It's called a secret ID for a reason,people.

Ditto, that's the biggest thing that annoyed me about all the Batman movies ( and it's starting to creep into all superhero movies ) - he meets girl, falls in love with girl, tell girl he's Batman, girl isn't seen again. I think there are more people who know who Batman is in the movie universe then ever knew in the comics.

I can also do without the goofy sidekick ( or villain ) in an otherwise drama movie. Ones that come to mind, and could have been better movies ( at least in my opinion ) Judge Dredd ( the Sylvester Stallone one, I can do without Rob Schneider ), The Fifth Element ( I could have done without Chris Tucker's character ) & Waterworld ( lamest villain ever ).

[ctc]

>Judge Dredd ( the Sylvester Stallone one, I can do without Rob Schneider ),

....or Stallone, or everyone ELSE in that one.... (This'll help make the pain go away: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aavS_XUITXU )

>The Fifth Element ( I could have done without Chris Tucker's character )

THAT is the comment I hear most often about the film.

Don C.