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Zen Sarcasm

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  • Bo8a_Fett
    Pat Troughton in disguise
    • Nov 21, 2007
    • 3738

    Zen Sarcasm

    1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me,
    for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either.
    Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

    2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a
    leaky tyre.

    3. It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal
    your neighbour's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

    4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

    5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

    6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

    7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of
    your car payments.

    8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their
    shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you
    have their shoes.

    9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

    10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to
    fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

    11. If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was
    probably worth it.

    12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

    13. Some days you're the insect; some days you're the windshield.

    14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

    15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and
    put it back in your pocket.

    16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

    17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark
    side, and it holds the universe together.

    18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

    19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

    20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

    21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

    22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a
    laxative on the same night
    ENGLISH AND DAMN PROUD OF IT British by birth....English by the grace of God. Yes Jamie...it is big isn't it....
  • monkey tennis
    "Kiss my face."
    • Jun 8, 2007
    • 2267

    #2
    Originally posted by Bo8a_Fett
    =

    11. If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was
    probably worth it.
    Roger can you lend me £20.00
    "I've just bought a house. It's got a Buck Rogers Toilet. One yank, all gone!"

    Comment

    • Bo8a_Fett
      Pat Troughton in disguise
      • Nov 21, 2007
      • 3738

      #3
      Certainly Barry....hey where's he gone?
      ENGLISH AND DAMN PROUD OF IT British by birth....English by the grace of God. Yes Jamie...it is big isn't it....

      Comment

      • SlipperyLilSuckers
        MeGoing
        • May 14, 2003
        • 9031

        #4
        D'em's wize words.

        Comment

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