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  • txteach
    Banned
    • Jun 17, 2005
    • 3769

    Life is getting a little better!

    As many of you know, I just recently got divorced. Well I'm starting to adapt to being single. Life is still tough after 21 years with someone I thought I'd be with forever but with help I'm getting through it. I did recently get a text from my ex:
    Confessing of cheating on me on and off for 21 years.
    Her being with various guy
    Telling me it was all my fault because she thought I had cheated (which I never did).

    I have come to the conclusion that she is either very sick or very evil. Both prospects sadden me. The worst thing she told me was that our marriage never mattered to her. I have recently come to the conclusion that I do not EVER need contact with her unless it's about my daughter. I'm hoping to one day get full custody of her (I have 50% now). My ex works about 75 hours a week, 6 days a week and has a hard time on weekends getting a sitter. I was thinking of going to a lawyer to send her an official letter asking for full custody since my work is stable and I am stable (no jokes please lol). What do you guys think of that idea? I do not do it for any reason except my daughter. My ex is now a party girl and a workaholic and my daughter does not need that. Thanks for all the kind words from members here when my life was crap.
  • wayne foundation 07
    Time to feed the cat
    • Dec 30, 2007
    • 5705

    #2
    I'm glad to hear your doing good,sounds like you have good plans.If you try for full custody you need to make it sound like your doing your ex a favor. "So you don't have to worry about her while your not home with her" as if she really does.If you don't need support don't ask for it that to might help your chances.Several friends from work have and are going through what you are,seems that 7 year rule for marriage doesn't apply anymore.

    Comment

    • wolfie
      Persistent Member
      • Dec 31, 2007
      • 1567

      #3
      Hope things work out well for you. I'm still trying to get over anyone working 75 hours a week. I didn't know there were that many hours in a week.

      Comment

      • Duncan
        Museum focus-groupie
        • Jun 27, 2009
        • 1542

        #4
        Sorry, but I don't have any advice for you, other than to make sure to show your lawyer that text and to archive a copy for future use.

        Otherwise, I'm glad to hear you're doing well. Best wishes.

        Comment

        • Nostalgiabuff
          Muddling through
          • Oct 4, 2008
          • 11423

          #5
          sounds like it would be in the best interests of your daughter to live full time with you. definately save texts and/or any other messages you get from your ex as it is all evidence if it goes to court for custody

          Comment

          • toys2cool
            Ultimate Mego Warrior
            • Nov 27, 2006
            • 28605

            #6
            dam she cheated for 21 years? very sad, I say go for it John...you should try and get full custody , you'll get it man
            "Time to nut up or shut up" -Tallahassee

            http://ultimatewarriorcollection.webs.com/
            My stuff on facebook Incompatible Browser | Facebook

            Comment

            • megocrazy
              Museum Trouble Maker
              • Feb 18, 2007
              • 3718

              #7
              I like the "make it look like your doing your ex a favor" option. Offer to take her rather than have a babysitter involved. If she opts for it, it can be great leverage later. Even passing on your children for the matter of working is not necessarily promising in the eyes of the courts. I would make the offer through your lawyer and simply say putting your daughter with a babysitter when it's not necessary is not in her best interests.

              If your wife is starting the "party" scene it won't be long before she reaches the "me" level where that's all that matters to her. Remember to record every time she asks you to keep her for times that are not work related or in the norm.
              It's not a doll it's an action figure.

              Comment

              • Toy Talk
                Old and out of touch
                • Aug 7, 2009
                • 948

                #8
                This kind of situation is very difficult to win, especially since there is no real winner. Sure, your daughter is probably much better off with you, but she will grow to resent her mother for the actions leading up to you taking full custody. Either way your daughter has a lot to deal with. However, in the long run it sounds like her best interest is with you. My only advice, pray and document... everything. Good luck my friend.
                "Procrastination is the art of planning for tomorrow."

                Comment

                • Hector
                  el Hombre de Acero
                  • May 19, 2003
                  • 31852

                  #9
                  If your ex is gainfully employed (and not abusive)...it's going to be next to impossible gaining full custody of your daughter, Coach.
                  sigpic

                  Comment

                  • EmergencyIan
                    Museum Paramedic
                    • Aug 31, 2005
                    • 5470

                    #10
                    Good luck, Coach!


                    - Ian
                    Rampart, this is Squad 51. How do you read?

                    Comment

                    • Adam West
                      Museum CPA
                      • Apr 14, 2003
                      • 6822

                      #11
                      I agree winning full custody will become almost impossible unless you can prove neglect, abuse, etc. You will also bankrupt yourself fighting this. I would take others advice and print out the texts that she has sent in case they continue. Don't even take the bait. It sounds to me like she is in denial and is trying to rationalize her poor decisions by blaming you for everything. I don't know how old your daughter is but in my state, kids can actually go to court and ask to live exclusively with one parent (meaning sole custody). The other thing just from personal experience is to forgive your wife even if she doesn't deserve it or has asked for it. I heard it once said that holding a grudge forever is like drinking poison hoping the other person will die. This doesn't mean there is reconciliation or that there will ever be trust again but you will find yourself a happier person in the long run. Good luck in whatever decision you make.
                      "The farther we go, the more the ultimate explanation recedes from us, and all we have left is faith."
                      ~Vaclav Hlavaty

                      Comment

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