Please share your most awful Dad Jokes!

[Jmass]

In this case worse is better! I'll start -
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

They taste funny

[sprytel]

My dad had the heart of a lion... and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

[knight errant00]

Why don't sharks eat lawyers?

Professional courtesy.

[Jmass]

Comedy Gold!

[BudgetMego]

What did the pigeon say to his friends when they were ready to leave? Let's get the flock out of here.

[BudgetMego]

What did GI Joe say when he got fuzzy hair? Oh flock me. Spent some time thinking that one up.

[Jmass]

Why did the prettiest girl in school take a mushroom to prom?

Because he was a fun guy!

[sprytel]

I asked my wife if she considered me a good listener. She said, "You're an 8 on a scale of 10."

I don't know why she wanted me to pee on a skeleton... but I did it, because I'm a good listener.

[Makernaut]

I feel like Dad jokes exist because we had funny riddles on Dixie Cups as kids.

[drquest]

Oh... I have an entire list of bangers.... I had a dad joke TED talk at my daughter's wedding reception which included her husbands dad as well... Yes it was quite cringy....


I was at the zoo recently and noticed a piece of toast in one of the cages. I asked the keeper why it was in there.
He said it was bread in captivity.


How do you make a bee become an atheist?
You scare the beeJesus out of it.


Why did the blind man fall down the well?
Because he couldn’t see well.


Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He pasta way!


My doctor told me I was going deaf.
The news was hard for me to hear.


Why did the ghost smell so bad?
Because he was covered in sheet.


Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
He woke up.


What kind of magazines do cows read?
Cattlelogs!


What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decaffeinated


How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?
About a buccaneer


Where do pirates get their hooks?
At a 2nd hand store


What would you find in Batman’s shower?
Batshampoo and conditioner Gordon


I have many more....

[BudgetMego]

What's the only insect native to the moon? A luna tick. I know.

[shaunaconda]

Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
He didn’t have the guts!

[BudgetMego]

Who was the skeletons favorite singer? Sony Bono.

[Jmass]

You guys are setting the bar very high - or low!!! Love it!

[BudgetMego]

What language do sheep speak? "Baaable". What do cows do with their free time? They go to the "mooovies".