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So a fellow brother o'er at my prop forum posted something cute today.
I know we've all had experiences like this, God knows I have, but his wording of his particular situation was simply golden and I had to share:
So, one of those weekends. Go to a farmstand to get pumpkins for my boys. Nobody's there, just a cash box, 5 dollars each. Which means I can't get change for my 20. Which means I end up getting four pumpkins instead of just two. I HATE wasting money.
But we get home and make jack o'lanterns and that's fun. Messy, but a good time. My kids are really into it. They're also really excited about getting pumpkin seeds. There's nothing like salting them and toasting them...mmmm good.
Step 1) Seeds on cookie sheet, salt, broiler on, stick them in the oven. Step 2) Promptly forget all about them. Step 3) A looooong time later, think to yourself, did my wife burn popcorn or something? Step 4) Don't investigate the burning smell, because why would you? Step 5) The epiphany. Smoke alarm. Oh yeah, you were cooking. Smoke is just pouring out of the oven. The front is black above the door. You open it up, flames fly out halfway to the ceiling with the sudden influx of oxygen. Step 6) Grab cookie sheet, run to bathroom, stick under faucet in tub. Inspect your now totally destroyed oven mitt (more money wasted...) and your partially hairless forearm.
And you see where it goes from there. Open windows, fans, clean tub, throw out cookie sheet (man, I'm getting nickle and dimed to death here...), clean oven (several dishrags, two old tee-shirts, a sponge, and half a thing of napkins). Mop, because the oven cleaner ran, spreading brown goo all over the kitchen. Wipe up counters, etc. because everything's covered in pumpkin seed ashes. Go to store, buy a timer for your kitchen, vow to set it each and every time you cook. No more assuming you'll remember.
Finally, be in a really bad mood and be unable to explain to your wife why she might want to just leave you the **** alone while you cool off, so instead of being mad for an hour and then getting over it, tense silence all evening. Wife is still angry in the morning.
Christ.
I know we've all had experiences like this, God knows I have, but his wording of his particular situation was simply golden and I had to share:
So, one of those weekends. Go to a farmstand to get pumpkins for my boys. Nobody's there, just a cash box, 5 dollars each. Which means I can't get change for my 20. Which means I end up getting four pumpkins instead of just two. I HATE wasting money.
But we get home and make jack o'lanterns and that's fun. Messy, but a good time. My kids are really into it. They're also really excited about getting pumpkin seeds. There's nothing like salting them and toasting them...mmmm good.
Step 1) Seeds on cookie sheet, salt, broiler on, stick them in the oven. Step 2) Promptly forget all about them. Step 3) A looooong time later, think to yourself, did my wife burn popcorn or something? Step 4) Don't investigate the burning smell, because why would you? Step 5) The epiphany. Smoke alarm. Oh yeah, you were cooking. Smoke is just pouring out of the oven. The front is black above the door. You open it up, flames fly out halfway to the ceiling with the sudden influx of oxygen. Step 6) Grab cookie sheet, run to bathroom, stick under faucet in tub. Inspect your now totally destroyed oven mitt (more money wasted...) and your partially hairless forearm.
And you see where it goes from there. Open windows, fans, clean tub, throw out cookie sheet (man, I'm getting nickle and dimed to death here...), clean oven (several dishrags, two old tee-shirts, a sponge, and half a thing of napkins). Mop, because the oven cleaner ran, spreading brown goo all over the kitchen. Wipe up counters, etc. because everything's covered in pumpkin seed ashes. Go to store, buy a timer for your kitchen, vow to set it each and every time you cook. No more assuming you'll remember.
Finally, be in a really bad mood and be unable to explain to your wife why she might want to just leave you the **** alone while you cool off, so instead of being mad for an hour and then getting over it, tense silence all evening. Wife is still angry in the morning.
Christ.
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