Nervous and Panicky over starting Kindergarten

[JDeRouen]

Actually, my son's just fine with starting Kindergarten - it's me that's a nervous wreck over it! I've been a work-at-home/stay-at-home Dad since he was born, and I'm really going to miss him. On top of that, I'm panicky that he's going to get hurt, hate school, or a thousand other things.

It's a very nice school, a charter school with a lottery (we didn't actually make it into the lottery, but got picked later when some who did couldn't go because they were moving or decided to go to another school or whatever) to get in, which means the parents have to know about the school and actually make an effort to get their kids into it, and the teachers all seem great, and I know I'm over-reacting and projecting my less-than-happy grade school experience on him, but... sheesh, I just feel so nervous and forlorn about the whole thing.

Because it's a charter school, they don't get some of the same millage from the taxes that most public schools get and thus reply more on grants and such, and they also ask the parents to volunteer for an hour a week to help out with stuff, and both my wife (who now also works from home) and I plan be involved with that and also join the PTO. (Parents-Teachers Organization, like the PTA) So we'll definitely be involved.

He starts tomorrow (it's a year-round school, so they start early) and he's really excited about it, and I want to be excited for him, but, unlike my wife, I just feel jittery.

Is this normal? Or am I out of my mind?

Joe

[Comic Book Geek]

My wife and I work at home and I mourned my kids going off to school too. We'll blink and our kids will be teenagers and wont want anything to do with us. My youngest is off to kendergarten this year so now they're both gone. I'm glad we don't have year round school, and I'm glad it's not all day kendergarten.

[JDeRouen]

Ultimately, Aaron, year-round isn't so bad as they get the same breaks, just spaced out more during the year. I think his first two-week break is in October, so not too far off! But I do wish Kindergarten here wasn't all-day...

Thanks for your response! Misery loves company, you know.

I forgot to mention that the charter school he'll be going to concentrates on arts and music, which he's really interested in, so I know it'll be good for him. (See? I'm trying to look on the bright side!)

Joe

[ABMAC]

Both of my kids entered kindergarten already knowing more than most first-graders (both have been reading since they were three), so there was no pressure on them to learn anything. They both had a blast, and everything went pretty smoothly after I figured out that one of the teachers needed to be threatened a little. Think of it as institutional daycare and don't set your educational expectations too high. Your son will pick up some socialization skills that he hasn't had an opportunity to learn at home and he'll probably balk at some of them at first, but it's best to set him on the road to peer manipulation early.

[Zemo]

Joe, I'll I can tell you is, I have very fond memories of kindergarten, remember a handleful of the kids names I went with and am still in contact with 2 of them. Be happy as hell he's going.

[Dave Mc]

I felt the same way Joe. I wasn't thrilled about school starting at all. My son was, and thankfully still is, pretty excepting of all different kinds of people and interests. He's not the kind to pick on or make fun of someone who's different. These are traits that are most often learned from kids at school who have older sibs.

I wasn't eager for this kind of influence, but my kid is not really a follower, so he's done pretty well on the whole.

First grade was terrible. My son, we found out, is a little ADHD. The first grade teacher was trying to force him to conform to her way of doing things, and he just wasn't capable. It wasn't enough that he did the work and did it well, he had to do it exactly the way she said it needed to be done. She used the card pulling system for discipline and he was having a card pulled every day. Small stuff, sitting on his knees in his chair. Chewing on a pencil, really kind of petty stuff. It was making him feel really stupid and bad about himself. My wife tried to deal with it properly and we didn't get anywhere. Finally I had to play the angry Dad bit. I showed up to school on day as classes let out unannouced and basically told her that he will answer to her, but she will answer to me. I demanded an email report every single day. If a card was pulled I wanted to know exactly what happened and why. Told her if I didn't get an email, I'd come by the next day to get the report personally, and if she wished to have the principle present, that was fine by me. It worked and she backed off a little and we got through the year.

2nd grade was great. We had a more laid back teacher and I think 2 cards were pulled all year. His attitude, his learning, everything improved. It was amazing.

Not trying to pass on horror stories. Just saying that if something isn't going well, you have every right to step in. It's your son's future, and you can control it to some degree, even while he's in school. Some teachers want every kid to be exactly the same, and that's impossible. On the other hand, some teachers are awesome. It makes all the difference.

[toys2cool]

I use to hate it when my mom first started leaving me at school,I remember she would stay for a few minutes ti'll I started talking to someone then I'd turn around and she would be gone.But after the first few days they get use to it,just give them a little time to make friends and they'll be alright

you on the other hand...well I'm sure you'll be spending even more time here

[grayhank]

Actually, my son's just fine with starting Kindergarten - it's me that's a nervous wreck over it!

You'll do just fine Joe, you'll love naptime. You'll get snacks and the teacher will read stories. If the other kids start to pick on you just hang out with your son!

[Hulk]

Don't worry Joe. I've met you and I think you'll do just fine in Kindergarten. Don't forget to share your toys with others. You will be the most popular kid in class. Good Luck!

[JDeRouen]

Ha! I was never popular in school. I was just so shy, and had weird stuff going on at home (my dad was a physically abusive alcoholic) and that translated into trouble at school for me.

But Fletcher doesn't have either of those things, so I'm sure he'll be fine.

[huedell]

I've worked in the school system...I have some experience in this mindset (I was an
Elem. Ed major)

When Anthony and Dave mentioned about their interaction with teachers---well, I
thought---there's your answer right there...just stay abreast of your son's scenario
as much as you feel you can muster (as you feel is needed of course) and that's the
best you can do to fell you're doing the best you can do (aggg!, I felt like Austin Powers
there for a sec)

If a teacher feels you're invested and your eye is on him, then your child will get
better treatment (its that simple), and that's what you'd like---- I'm sure

Other than that---you can be nervous/uncomfortable with your son being away,
but if I was you I'd rationalize it with the already mentioned socialization skills
point----a kid just can't get that kind of social education at home with mom & dad

Good luck----and keep strong

[mitchedwards]

Hey Joe,

I'm in the same boat as you. We start our first day in 45 min.
She is excited, and Mom and Dad are a wreck.

I think its just seeing your child moving past another milestone in their life, and moving away from being your little baby, that makes it all the worse.

Mitch
__________________________________________

Well we survived dropping her off.

She went right in and made herself at home. She found he reading section and found a Arthur book. So she was fine.

Mom and Dad are hanging in

[palitoy]

I worried about my son for weeks, turned out he became very popular, he went from giving me a hug in the morning to just schluffing me off.

As for the educational merit, I think he's learned more from my reading him comics every night than from school thus far. It's the socialization skills I wanted him to get more than anything.

[Earth 2 Chris]

My son is off to Kindergarten tomorrow too. He wanted to go today! I told him he could go, but he'd have to sit outisde all day.

He's been going to preschool for 2 years now, and the last year he was at the elementary school he'll attend, so he'll be on familiar ground. I never planned on him going to preschool for two years (I thought one would suffice) but his social skills and speech have both improved immeasurably, so I'm glad we did it.

That all being said, it does kind of get me that he's old enough to start REAL school. I'm not really worried about him, just depressed that a good chunk of his childhood years are gone.

Chris

[Adam West]

It's totally normal.

I have 3 kids, one going into 7th grade, one into 5th, and one into 2nd. I remember feeling nervous when the oldest went to kindergarten and then again when he started middle school last year.

Everything turned out just fine. Now my wife and I get excited when school is about ready to start up since we're usuallly ready for them to start back after a two month + break.