Are people just plain rude?

[hobub]

This thread immediately reminded me of Carlin's "nice day" bit.

YouTube - George Carlin (1 of 6) at Carnegie Hall [1982]

If you want to cut to the chase, go right to 7:30 in the timeline. Perhaps these folks you greet take Carlin's perspective?

[wolfie]

I find all this absolutly amazing in an intresting way. We have about 350 employees at my place of work and everyone from the Top Boss to the cleaner is called by their name, their first name.

If their name is Brian then we call them Brian. It would seem very wierd to call them anything else.

[Gorn Captain]

When I was last in Vegas, all the people working in stores were so friendly, my wife and I were amazed.
It's often different here.
Once I was in a collectible store, and asked for a certain item.
The guy answered: "In the time it will take me to find it, you'll have found it yourself."

Our capital of Brussels is supposed to be bi-lingual, but if you don't speak French, you don't get served. They look at you thinking "French is the main language, you Flemish peasant."

So far, my experiences in the US have been positive ones.
Though I do remember when I was in San Francisco, "locals" were complaining about people of the East Coast being rude....

[Hector]

I found people on the street in New York to be nicer than San Francisco, generally. This town has a funky attitude. Nobody likes each other. Oakland is nicer. Parts of it anyway.

At work---there are people I've known for years that I don't know by name and who I've given up even nodding at. You feel like such a dork when you say hello and they don't respond at all.

I live in Oakland and worked in San Francisco for twenty years...and everything you said is correct. I hate Frisco...I love Oakland, nuff said.

[theantiquetiger]

In the South we have that whole "Southern Hospitality" thing going on that we have to live up to, open doors to places,

You better hold the door for people down here(especially ladies and the elderly). This is about the rudest thing you can do in public (in my eyes).

[Adam West]

I thought everyone in LA called their superiors "boss"

I think you have been watching "Driving Ms. Daisy" one too many times.

[theantiquetiger]

I find the differences very interesting.
In your terms then we treat everybody as if they were in a professional setting/position.
Which like I said that is the way we were brought up.I would never call my boss Mr Jim unless I was introducing him and then it would be followed by his last name as well.
Friends of the family that I know of as say Jason and Norena My children would call Mr and Mrs smith.At all times.
Thank you for your insight though if I ever travel down south I will at least have some proper etiquette for that part of the world.
You learn something new evryday...Cool I love this place...
Thanks again Mr Tiger....er I mean Mr theantique...LOL

Basically it stems down to:

Mr/Ms (first name) if an elder

First name only if equal in age or status (i.e. co-workers)
few exceptions, we have an "older" lady who is a board operator, been there 20+ years, we call her Ms Laura. She is equal in job title, but out of respect, we call her this. There are a couple guys of the same age, but we just call them by their first name.

People of authority, Mr/Ms (last name), i.e. teachers/high-up bosses. I run into my 3rd grade teacher some times, I still call her Ms Juban, not Carol nor Ms Carol, even though she is probably 10 -15 years older than me. If she was just a friend, I would call her Carol and my kids would say Ms Carol.

Now all this Mr/Ms (first name) is for people you know or have some kind of relationship with (i.e. my daughters' teachers addressing me, more on that topic in a sec).

Of course, every question answered by a child will be followed by Sir/Ma'am, when asked by an adult. ("you having a nice time? - Yes, Ma'am!")

We find it very disrespectful/rude to call an elder only by their first name.

Now I just turned 40, so it is getting strange to have people (other than kids) call me Mr Chris. All my daughters' teachers are early 20-somethings, and they call me Mr Chris. I see them as within the same age group as me (even tho I have 20 years on them), so I tell them not to, but it is ingrained in their heads to address older people this way, and I just crossed that threshold.

[ScottA]

In the South we have that whole "Southern Hospitality" thing going on that we have to live up to, which I try to do. I'll smile at people, open doors to places, let people in during rush hour, etc. Our Wal-mart greeters actually say "HI" when you walk in.

[livnxxxl]

Reading through all of this seems a bit funny to me how so many people do things differently all over the world. Maybe "it" really is in the water? I dunno sometimes. My gf and I frequent stores in MO and AZ. I do not see a huge difference between the two states as far as human behavior is concerned. I have noticed that it seems to me that the lower the wage that a employer pays the worst the attitude of the employee(s). Morale issues have a lot to do with attitudes. Maybe it has also has something to do with self esteem and or the economy? Note: This is not to beat up on any one entity or to make light of low wage earning people. However, I will use Wal-Mart for this example since most people are real familiar with the chain and their business practices. For example: Wal-mart stores which I certainly do not agree with all of their business practices although I do shop often at multiple Wal-mart stores because of their toy section. Most (not all) of the employees seem to me like they would rather be doing anything somewhere else then doing their job that they filled out an application of employeement to do. Most (again not all) of the cashiers do not even say thanks any more. It is more like take your stuff and get out of here because if looks could kill you would be dead. I have had some door greeters just stand there at the door like they could care less when you walk into the place. No hi or hello or welcome to Wally's. That is kind of how it feels anyway. I watch the news and I do get out quite a bit (when I am not here at The Museum that is) I see that the economy is bad for a lot of folks epecially the lesser fortunate. However, I refuse to accept this as good excuse to treat others badly. If they would only think about their attitudes and how they feel toward others their situation still does not change their living status. In fact it only makes their attitudes worse. Misery loves company. Grant it that people do have bad days from time to time. Also everyone's version of a bad day varies. Some worse than others. Everyone is entitled to have a bad day every now and then I suppose. It is when I see people in supposed friendly positions that seem unfriendly to me on a regular basis it kind of bothers me. It is a proven fact that attitudes are indeed contagious. Attitude certainly determines altitude in my humble opinion. I guess to sum all of this up is to say do not take your attitude out on others (unless seriously provoked to do so). Otherwise take it to the top. Let THEM know how you feel. Face your inner demons of reality. Make changes for the better. Smile a little it will not hurt much I promise as laughter is the best medicine.

Now what are you waiting for? Pass the FN collection plate!! And be quick about it!

On a personal note I am a pretty friendly person. According to what everyone that knows me for even a short while says about me anyway. Although my gf and I do keep to ourselves for the most part and enjoy a private life we do not hesitate to say hi to a friendly smiling face. If someone says hi to me I always make it a point to say hi, hello or what's up back at them. I like to treat people just as I would like to be treated with kind respect.

[fallensaviour]

I find the differences very interesting.
In your terms then we treat everybody as if they were in a professional setting/position.
Which like I said that is the way we were brought up.I would never call my boss Mr Jim unless I was introducing him and then it would be followed by his last name as well.
Friends of the family that I know of as say Jason and Norena My children would call Mr and Mrs smith.At all times.
Thank you for your insight though if I ever travel down south I will at least have some proper etiquette for that part of the world.
You learn something new evryday...Cool I love this place...
Thanks again Mr Tiger....er I mean Mr theantique...LOL

[Mikey]

I thought everyone in LA called their superiors "boss"

[theantiquetiger]

Mr Beckwith is the plant manager of the plant I work at. There are nine plants at the site I work at. We do address the site manager as Mr Coen. I call my supervisor(s) and engineers just by their first name (even in professional setting), the plant manager by Mr Jim, and the site manager by Mr Coen. If some one from the office comes for a meeting, we address them by Ms (first name) if a lady, and just their first name w/o Mr if it is a guy.

[fallensaviour]

At work---there are people I've known for years that I don't know by name and who I've given up even nodding at. You feel like such a dork when you say hello and they don't respond at all.

LOL...You know this happened to me a few times and then I said screw this(In my head of course)
The next time I said hello/good morning and they walked past trying to ignore me I raised my voice to an embarrassing level(for them not me)
And Yelling repeated "I guess you didn't hear me I said GOOD MORNING!!!"

To this day everybody at work says good morning to me with a nice smile...LOL...Maybe they think I'm crazy and might just go off on them if they don't,oh well.
You know what it seriously is a better place to be.
My advice is don't let them break you man!!!
Keep on sayin hello...

[Adam West]

That's interesting. Nobody at any company I have ever worked for refers to anyone by anything except their first name unless they don't know you and you are just meeting them.

I could never imagine referring to my boss as Mr. Paul. That would just be odd to me and to him....he's younger than me.

[theantiquetiger]

Strange up here in Canada,which I guess is pretty far north compared to you guys..LOL
I was taught and as well teach my children to never address elders by their first name until you are told it is okay by the person.It is a sign of pure disrespect.They are to be addressed as Example ...Mr Kirk not as Mr James,unless Mr Kirk say please call me James.Then in that case the Mr is dropped altogether and the Person becomes just James.

Down here, you do not call an elder by his/her first name unless it is preceeded by Mr or Ms. I believe it stems back to slave times, where the slaves called their owners this way, (i.e. "Ms Scarlett").

We do not address people by their last name (unless in a professional setting). I introduce my daughters to people I know as Mr Bob, Ms Ann (etc), not Mr Smith or Ms Smith. I call them Bob and Ann, but kids down here say it with the title.

Even my boss, we call Mr Jim, not Mr Beckwith, in a passing greeting(unless in a professional setting, i.e. meeting).

In fact, I found it quite difficult to transition from calling my now in-laws from Mr. and Mrs. to their first names. BTW, they are the type of people who would really not want me calling them mom and dad since they are not my parents and I would feel equally uncomfortable.

I call my in-laws Ms Helen and Mr Lowell and my wife addresses my parents the same. My mother addresses my mother in law by Ms Helen and vise versa, but my mother calls my father in law just by Lowell. I think it stems from older women do not address men by their title, just first name.

My two daughters address their teachers as Ms Ann, etc. Now this is in a pre-school setting. We do address our K thru 12th grade teachers by Ms/Mr (last name). As for coaches, a coach at school is addressed as Coach (last name), but a non-school team, he/she is usually addressed as Coach Steve (or just Coach).