How long would you wait?

[Splitty]

Honestly, I don't think there's ever a blanket answer to that question. It all depends on the individual and circumstances. I don't think it's as much about time limit as it is about personalities.

My boyfriend passed around maybe 8 years agoish. I rarely dated before that, and probably rarely will (if ever). But that's just me, somebody else who had a more active dating lifestyle will probably be back at it more quickly.

He filled a hole in my life, before that my life was only half lived. He let me experience what life was supposed to really be like, and in that short 7 years we dated on and off I feel like we lived a lifetime. I am forever grateful how he enriched my life. Do I miss him? You betcha, quite often. Would I date again? Maybe. The only snag there is I don't match up with anyone, ever. I'm am completly and totally unmatchable, more so than ever.

Besides I've never ever been one to date as a pastime or so I won't be alone, those shenanigans annoy the heck out of me. If it isn't 'right', why bother? There's so many other fun things to be doing. <--[psychotic laugh]

So perhaps after a loved one passes, people date less frivolously, only when there's something rich and worthwhile there? Yes? No?

[Toy Talk]

Nobody could ever live up to my wife in my heart,head, or life. I am better because we are together. Without my wife I am not the person I want to be anymore. The answer is never because I could never love anyone else the way I love my wife. God forbid anything ever happens to my wife, but if something horrible happened I would live the rest of my days knowing we shared a love like no other.

[MegoMark71]

my wife already warned me that if something happens to her, I better not meet anyone or she'll haunt me forever so that answers my question

Our wife's must know each other cause i have heard that same thing almost word for word.

[Adam West]

How about this scenario which is true. My aunt has full blown alzheimer's disease is in assisted living, my uncle is just a stranger to her, etc. He loves her and visits her every day, but he is a bit older (his kids are older than me) and wants companionship. He asked my mom's opinion about whether or not she thought it was ok as he was torn between being faithful to his wife who is still alive but will never recognize him again nor share intimate moments and moving on with life and seeking some companionship. Any viewpoints on this?

[jimsmegos]

How about this scenario which is true. My aunt has full blown alzheimer's disease is in assisted living, my uncle is just a stranger to her, etc. He loves her and visits her every day, but he is a bit older (his kids are older than me) and wants companionship. He asked my mom's opinion about whether or not she thought it was ok as he was torn between being faithful to his wife who is still alive but will never recognize him again nor share intimate moments and moving on with life and seeking some companionship. Any viewpoints on this?

Now that's a tough situation. While he has needs he would surely also have guilt. Damn.

[Iron Mego]

I guess that one depends on how literally you take, "In sickness and in health, until death do us part."

[Iron Mego]

Although "companionship" could simply entail a close friendship.

[Brad]

How about this scenario which is true. My aunt has full blown alzheimer's disease is in assisted living, my uncle is just a stranger to her, etc. He loves her and visits her every day, but he is a bit older (his kids are older than me) and wants companionship. He asked my mom's opinion about whether or not she thought it was ok as he was torn between being faithful to his wife who is still alive but will never recognize him again nor share intimate moments and moving on with life and seeking some companionship. Any viewpoints on this?

That is a very tough situation to be in. I can only hope that I never have to go through that.


IMHO there is no wrong answer for that. Your Uncle needs to do what is best for him regardless of what others think. The only thing I can think of is to see if he can find some sort of support group with people who have gone through the same situation and seek their advice/experience. I saw my great Uncle and my Grandpa suffer from that horrible disease and now my Aunt has it. Thankfully she still knows who we are right now but it's only a matter of time. It runs on my Dad's side of the family and if he hadn't died from a heart attack I believe he too would have fallen victim to this disease.

[Saroyan]

...If it isn't 'right', why bother? There's so many other fun things to be doing. <--[psychotic laugh]

So perhaps after a loved one passes, people date less frivolously, only when there's something rich and worthwhile there? Yes? No?

That is exactly why I dated a lot in my 20s- but rarely the same women for more than a few months at a time- and I was the one to end 95% of my relationships- they just weren't "right". I knew within a few weeks of meeting my wife that she was the right one for me- married for 12 years this April.

She has often remarked that when she is gone, I should re-marry and she wouldn't fault me at all- I would want her to find happiness if it was with someone else after I was gone- ok.

How long would I wait- I have no idea.....how long do those Russian bride transactions take to process??

[kingdom warrior]

I would never go into another relationship... oh hell to the no!!!!