Colouring Book Theatre: Star Trek

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‘Star Trek" by Saalfield (1975)
Bit of an milestone today, as we have not only the worst colouring book I have ever seen but the worst bit of Star Trek merchandise ever.

Yes, this publication with the nice shot of a slightly inebriated Mr Spock on the cover beats this item and even this item as the greatest example of Paramount's licensing departments complete lack of care.

The book has some rather palatable art by Robert Doremus but it's the story that is the true culprit. Either this is a) a sick joke or b) Saalfield hired my mom who decided to write a "nice" Star Trek story for a change (effectively removing the cool stuff like Phasers, Klingons and you know action)

If you want to experience the pain, check it out after the jump, there's a cool contest at the end, so at least you may be compensated:

After your typical establishing shots of the Enterprise and the bridge crew, the plot starts to move and it's about Omicron, a lost planet full of Circus performers.

This is supposed to be Mr. Sulu, the artist seems to think that George Takei played Sulu is a constant state of surprise. He is always depicted as open mouthed and eyes wide open. Now, a planet of circus performers actually sounds like a neat idea, bearded ladies, he-shes. dwarfs and lobster people, I agree with Sulu, let's check it out!


Oh ****, it's a clown planet. Well, it can't get any worse right?


Oh God No, please Jim, drop kick Officer Mittens.



Noooooooo!


Oh not Scottie too, it's his only appearance, did they have to add the little dog?.


From the "Innocent then, unintentionally funny now" file


See comment above


You're a genius Spock, it only takes the fact that the Captain is dressed like Pagliacci and Sulu doing cartwheels to realize something odd is going on. Must be a lesson lurking somewhere!





Ah, there it is, the morale at the end of the story smeared on good and thick, well I have a lesson for you Saalfield publishing...





Lt. Uhura isn't a middle aged white woman!


I need some tranya....

Onto the Contest:

Thanks to the good people at Abrams Publishing I have a copy of the new book "Star Trek 365" to give away. All you need is answer this skill testing question:

Do you think you could take Captain Kirk in a fight?

Email your answers here.

The winner will be chosen next Saturday.

Previously reviewed Colouring Books
If you have a colouring book you'd like to guest review, I'd like to hear from you!

For more Fashion Mockery and 70's toy love visit us at Plaid Stallions.com


More...

[Captain]

I still have this book...Got it for Christmas one year, along with a giant Batman one. Makes one wonder if the author ever even saw an episode???

[HardyGirl]

Oh man, I have this one too, but I've always thought it was too goofy for a Star Trek adventure, so I sent Brian the other one I had. Too funny!

[Nostalgiabuff]

I had this one and recently gave it to my son to actually color in. LOL

[vulcan2074]

Thats terrible on so many levels LOL.
Sammy

[Meule]

There's no way, just no way in hell, whoever drew that actually saw an episode

[Earth 2 Chris]

Man, nothing is right with that. Spock and Kirk's likenesses inside aren't terrible, but that cover...!!! Did the artist only have one reference photo from "The Naked Time" or something?

Chris

[mego73]

This was a reprint of a 1960's Star Trek coloring book (with a different cover) and some pages were omitted (or moved to another edition).

The 1970's one holds a good place in my heart since I had it back in the day.

[UnderdogDJLSW]

This goes into the "tears of laughter" file.

[Wee67]

You had me at planet full of circus perfomers. GOLD, BABY! GOLD!