Did I say "horrific"? I meant horrible.
I've been bored and uninspired of late, so I threw together a couple of whacked out figures to try turn the tide.
The first is the nefarious CON-tractor
Jeb Scmiddle was always a questionable contractor, never afraid to cut corners and do a generally half arsed job to make a quick buck. One day, he ripped off the wrong guy--King Rex (remember him?) a Gotham City mobster. Rex sent over a couple of his Dinosaur gang to "explain things" to Mr. Scmiddle...which they did in spades, leaving him for dead in a local garbage dump....Only Jeb wasnt dead! He was found by a strange little man who apparently lived in the dump. The little man treated his wounds, and when Jeb was able to leave, he gave him a "magic cellphone". With this phone Jeb could dial a special number and order up whatever he commanded, but only for 15 minutes.
Excited, Jeb decided to use his new power to embark on a life of crime. Taking the name The CON-tractor, he set out to take a bite out of King Rex's criminal kingdom. Unfortunately for Jeb, the phone didnt work as well as he had hoped for. When he dialed up a "killer bulldozer" to take out the Batman, a bulldozer appeared, with a killer paint job. When he dialed the number and asked for a "beast most foul" to take out the Red Tornado, a nasty outhouse from a construction site popped up.
Jeb has managed to evade capture so far, but hes bound to screw up sooner than later.
Next up is the fiendish...the foul....Burger Baron!
Walter Kibble had long dreamed of opening his first burger joint. After inheriting a few dollars, he quit his job at the Odd Lots Shoe Store and opened up the first of what he hoped would be a chain of burger places. The Burger Castle. Calling himself the Burger Baron, and offering such fare as the Big Jac, Windy's Chili, and the Quarterastounder, Walter thought he was on his way.
Then, they hit. Cease and desist orders from McDonald's, Burger King, Jack in the box, White Castle, and Wendys. It seemed everything he had created was ripped off from some other organization. It didnt help that his food caused a wave of massive diarrhea across the greater Metropolis area...prompting an expose by Lois Lane, and a hefty fine from the department of health. The legal bills piled up, and Walter was forced to shut down everything and declare bankruptcy. This proved too much for Walters frail mind, and while sitting depressed in his Grandma's basement (where he now lived) Walter came up with an idea. A horrible, awful idea. He would lash out against the other big fast food chains....force them to their knees....to beg him The Burger Baron, for mercy.
Reworking his old burger Baron outfit, and inventing the awesome condiment Guns that fired Ketchup and Mustard, Walter began his mission of evil. For the most part, all he did was vandalize fast food joints, shooting up the place with ketchup and mustard. The Metropolis Police were way too busy chasing after real criminals to bother with the Burger Baron, and Walter ran amuck virtually untouched. During one event, the store manager assumed it was a robbery, and handed over all the cash in the store. No fool (well...he was kinda stupid...) Walter figured out robbing the restaurants might do more harm than merely messing them up with condiments, and altered his MO to robbery.
Currently he has teamed up with the CON-tractor to form a League of Super Bad Dudes. they tried to acquire new members by going to a seedy bar where all the big super villains hang out, but they all laughed at them and renamed the team, the League of Losers....a name the press picked up on. So far, no one else has joined the LoL, but both Jeb and Walter are holding out hope that a big name bad guy will join soon.
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