I love practically every version of this timeless classic ever made, but this...NO. NO. NO.
****SPOILERS****
Guy Pearce was the worst Scrooge ever, and that's the best thing one can say about this unholy train wreck.
The opening scene is literally a guy urinating on Jacob Marley's grave. Yep.
Then we get to see said urine somehow trickle though six feet of frozen ground and a sealed coffin into Jacob Marley's mouth. Yep.
Minutes in, the first F-bomb drops, directed at a group of caroling children. Yep. Multiple F-bombs throughout.
Scrooge is sexually molested by his schoolteacher as a boy.
They just skip that whole Fezziwig part.
They decided to make the Cratchits a bi-racial couple, cause you know, diversity.
Mrs. Cratchit strips in front of Scrooge for money to pay for a life-saving operation for Tiny Tim. Yep. No joke.
All three ghosts are horrendous.
Ghost of Christmas past is an F-bomb dropping homeless guy played by Andy Serkis.
Ghost of Christmas present is Scrooge's hot sister.
Ghost of Christmas future is Death from Bill & Ted.
Then we're treated to the same guy once again urinating...this time on Scrooge's grave.
I am NOT kidding. All of this ACTUALLY HAPPENS.
Oh, and it's over three hours long.
This should never be shown again. EVER. Anywhere.
Charles Dickens must surely be rolling in his grave.
****SPOILERS****
Guy Pearce was the worst Scrooge ever, and that's the best thing one can say about this unholy train wreck.
The opening scene is literally a guy urinating on Jacob Marley's grave. Yep.
Then we get to see said urine somehow trickle though six feet of frozen ground and a sealed coffin into Jacob Marley's mouth. Yep.
Minutes in, the first F-bomb drops, directed at a group of caroling children. Yep. Multiple F-bombs throughout.
Scrooge is sexually molested by his schoolteacher as a boy.
They just skip that whole Fezziwig part.
They decided to make the Cratchits a bi-racial couple, cause you know, diversity.
Mrs. Cratchit strips in front of Scrooge for money to pay for a life-saving operation for Tiny Tim. Yep. No joke.
All three ghosts are horrendous.
Ghost of Christmas past is an F-bomb dropping homeless guy played by Andy Serkis.
Ghost of Christmas present is Scrooge's hot sister.
Ghost of Christmas future is Death from Bill & Ted.
Then we're treated to the same guy once again urinating...this time on Scrooge's grave.
I am NOT kidding. All of this ACTUALLY HAPPENS.
Oh, and it's over three hours long.
This should never be shown again. EVER. Anywhere.
Charles Dickens must surely be rolling in his grave.
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