Just needed to say this

[palitoy]

I recently had an exchange with a former member and while it was civil and I have no resentment, something he said to me has haunted me.

Keep in mind, I am speaking the notion here and not the person. I truly hated this belief and want no one else here to carry it.

It was wrongly assumed that we banned him, for no good or apparent reason. While there were some technical issues that exacerbated the situation, I suspect this opinion may have had help forming from someone who has been banned.

Nobody likes banning people here, we all come here to make friends and talk about dolls, not talk about others or be negative .

it's true, we've removed some people from these forums and occasionally I have wished I had done a better job of it. However, that's truly in the minority.

Even though we don't give "exit interviews" to people we remove, those folks know why and while they may be hardpressed to admit their hand in it, we've always had a valid reason and it's always our last resort.

So in summation, please don't assume the worst of us if you don't get a reply to an email or a PM, it's nothing personal, we're both people with packed schedules and full email inboxes.

[Spectator]

Thank you for this pro-active statement. It's nice to see these philosophies stated plainly and reinforced.

[comicmike]

I'm curious if this current situation reflects on some Facebook practices & potential miscommunication from Mego-related moderators; thus, may cause some assumptions about the decision-making of the moderators of this forum. Brian, you are kind to share your facts and your thoughts. It takes a lot of gumption to be this genuine, and bring them forward in good faith. I'd argue it could put a person in both a position of strength and vulnerability (or, maybe I'm wiser to speak for myself here). It's not fun to work through the tone of the community's changing needs or expectations...but, in the end, the Museum continues with the majority of voices who are reasonable, and help contribute to the Fun of the Forum. May you (and all of us) find ways to let go of what has been troubling, and we can move forward as a community about how we continue to connect as members and collectors. These kinds of situations can create longer-term guidelines of making our community stay more transparent, and less knee-jerk; more entertaining, and less drama-based. I aim to bring my best behaviours to this venue because I believe I am accountable to the group. It is not just about what I take from it; it is more about *the way* I contribute. I am here because I enjoy Megos, enjoy reading about our finds, perspectives, and connecting with others who share the same passion. Reading this discourse solidifies why I am here, and log in often: For the right reasons, with the right people.

[EMCE Hammer]

Banning a member from this forum is the start of a long, hard road. It's not the end. All banning does is cut one line of communication for the person in question, and more often than not starts a negative chain of events that never ends. Fake accounts are created and attempts are made to rejoin. Facebook attacks on our pages go without saying. When we shut those down, it's FB attack of the aliases, and then it's on to other Facebook pages that we don't manage. The icing on the cake is when Facebook groups are formed just for the sake of insulting us. We've both been verbally attacked, had our families insulted or threatened.......banning is a giant pain in the ***. The idea that we'd just ban anyone for the heck of it is like accusing us of walking down the street and just looking for a fight that we know we can't really win. Why would we do that? We're not here to moderate; we're here to participate. We do the best we can, with limited time and the cumulative weight of all the crapstorms past weighing on our shoulders. If someone had asked either of us our opinion of the person in question prior to all of this, it would have been a resounding "They're cool." I know I'm not everybody's cup of tea, but I don't get off on screwing with people and neither does Brian. We do our best to keep what we think is a really cool place going. We know we're not perfect, but maybe give us the benefit of the doubt if you have problems with your login? If you're not sure you're banned, or don't know why you're banned - you're probably not banned!

[Werewolf]

The icing on the cake is when Facebook groups are formed just for the sake of insulting us. We've both been verbally attacked, had our families insulted or threatened.......banning is a giant pain in the ***. The idea that we'd just ban anyone for the heck of it is like accusing us of walking down the street and just looking for a fight that we know we can't really win. Why would we do that?

My heart goes out to you guys. That really sucks.

[Brue]

I participate in very few internet forums. Others I have been or am part of, are not run as well.

Some things I like here:
no politics or religion (I love debating both of these, but this is not the place),
no porn (no one needs this and it Definetly didn't belong here),
no cussing (it doesn't edify anyone here, and can be hurtful or awkward),
personal attacks aren't tolerated (rather, encouragement is promoted)
No swindling people (ripping people off is just plain wrong)

Those are the no's

The positive list is longer, but couldn't exist without the no's.

And moderating without being overly permissive or heavy handed is hard to do. Everybody gets it wrong sometimes, but I have to say that the moderators here have seemed to done it well.

And it used to be that banned or otherwise upset people here would just go to the other forum.

Now with facebook, it would be like playing Wack-a-mole to curb retribution. I doubt anyone has enough quarters to keep playing. So ignore the moles and know no one cares about that game and would rather be here

[Mikey]

I never understood the whole Facebook or My Space thing

Not counting a general discussion forum like Mego Museum, what would make somebody want to go to somebody's page to read what they say whether it's dissing people or posting photo's you took of your lunch ?

I went to the Mego Museum facebook one time to see what it was … Seems a 100 times less active than the Museum forum.

Individual people facebooks seem like would be real boring (no matter what they write)

[palitoy]

The icing on the cake is when Facebook groups are formed just for the sake of insulting us.

When I discovered the Museum Hate group, i took a weird comfort in its low membership, glass half full.

[Mego Newbie14]

When I discovered the Museum Hate group, i took a weird comfort in its low membership, glass half full.

The fact there is a Museum hate group is beyond sad. I don’t post on here a lot cause 9 times out of 10 another member has said what I was going to and said it much better then I ever could. But when I do post the replies have always been nice and respectful. I’ve seen two disagreements between members here and they both got worked out between the members rationally. This is probably the most positive fan site I know and it starts with the mods and flows down to the members.

[palitoy]

Actually i kind of understand it, I don't like it mind you but most folks come here to be accepted and sometimes things just don't work out. Personalities clash, relationships sour or rivalries form, deals go bad, etc. Nobody likes rejection and everyone is the hero of their own story, an echo chamber of people who feel the same can provide some comfort.

It's just that the whole construct of a hate group where they just (I assume, not a member yet) bash others is also damning evidence about why they didn't remain in our sandbox.

[MysteryWho]

Wow. People put effort into nonsense like hate groups? Big sigh.

[cockyhoskins]

I own a very large vbulletin sports forum. I don't run it anymore, for this same reason. I have volunteer moderators now. Heck, I don't even go there anymore... it's that bad! A constant battle. I keep it up and running out of obligation to the 30k members (free members btw - I do not charge), but do not participate anymore. I've basically been run out of my own site because it's no fun to go to!

The community here is mainly why I spend most of my browsing time here. It's enjoyable. It's not like Megos are my #1 favorite hobby, but this is my favorite board by far!

On a side note, I thought when you are banned on a vbulletin forum, you are notified of such when you try to login. Said former member should have known he wasn't banned, if he didn't receive such notice.

[Wee67]

The community here is mainly why I spend most of my browsing time here. It's enjoyable. It's not like Megos are my #1 favorite hobby, but this is my favorite board by far!

Just more evidence of how successful Brian and Steve and all the other moderators over the years have been here. Its seems that so many other forums move away from their purpose and devolve into nasty personal attacks. The fact that this place pretty much stays on course is a reflection of just how well it is run. I've seen people given great leeway here before any actions have been taken. There are a lot different personalities here. Given all that, I have great confidence that when action is taken, it is necessary. And it has helped keep this one of the best places on the internet.

[Nostalgiabuff]

as always, thank you Brian and Steve and all the other mods that come and go, for everything you do to keep this place going. it's no excuse for the abuse you take but know that we all appreciate what you do

[cjefferys]

I mightily respect Brian and Steve for the crap they have to put up with in order to keep this place nice. There is no way I would have the patience, willpower and energy to handle a mere fraction of what they have to deal with, I'd end up in a fetal position under my desk. You guys rock!