My Neighbor the Conspiracy Theorist

[Comic Book Geek]

So I have this neighbor. Nice guy, average suburbia middle class sort of family. Always seamed pretty straight laced... much more than myself. Nice kids. His daughter has baby sat for us, his son's been in my house several times. (He's a couple years older than my kid and always been nice to him) I hadn't talked to him in a while, and struck up a conversation with him when I saw him and that's when he laid it on me. Not only does he have a pretty substantial conspiracy theory but he's written a book on the subject.

I can't get into paticulars because it's both political and religious. It's so wierd I can't tell if he's crazy left or crazy right... or both. He seemed taken aback when I told him it was a hard pill for me to swallow and now I'm kind of afraid. I'm even afraid he might be reading this.

Anyway, I'm having trouble digesting this. it's totally not how I'd read the guy.

[Adam West]

You're afraid he's reading your post? Is he hacking into your firewall or are you just feeling a little paranoid right now?

Now you have to share. You can't just talk about a whack job and then leave out all the juicy details especially if you can't figure out whether or not he is far left or far right.

[thunderbolt]

Ahhh, just tell him you keep seeing black vans drive reallllly slow by his house.

[Comic Book Geek]

You're afraid he's reading your post? Is he hacking into your firewall or are you just feeling a little paranoid right now?

Now you have to share. You can't just talk about a whack job and then leave out all the juicy details especially if you can't figure out whether or not he is far left or far right.

I'm not paranoid if there's really someone out to get me.

Can the aliens read my mind while I'm wearing my lead helmet? Is Osama really Dina Shore and Dick Cheney's love child? Was Captain Kangaroo on Acid? All might be revealed soon but only after dipping yourself 7 times in the Jordan river... and I'M NOT crazy!!!

[johnmiic]

There are some conspiracy theories I entertain as being reasonable theories
but I have a friend of mine who drinks heavily, the drinking makes him depressed and paranoid, he watches too much X-Files, thinks it's all true, and distrusts everyone who is in power and makes money. If it werent for the drinking and his tendency for anti-semitism I might consider some of his rants but the way he is-he's not even living on this planet.

[Comic Book Geek]

There are some conspiracy theories I entertain as being reasonable theories
but I have a friend of mine who drinks heavily, the drinking makes him depressed and paranoid, he watches too much X-Files, thinks it's all true, and distrusts everyone who is in power and makes money. If it werent for the drinking and his tendency for anti-semitism I might consider some of his rants but the way he is-he's not even living on this planet.

I'm OK with someone that has a crazy idea. I've got a few. Sane people can have a few crazy beliefs. The difference is a sane person will start off the conversation with something like, "OK this will sound crazy but..."

The crazy conspiracy theorist will always act indignant if you don't immediatley buy it. "How can you say that alien shapeshifters aren't living among us? The evidence is clear. Government insiders have revealed their existance. it must be true or so many people wouldn't be so quick to dismiss it. Don't you see? They have a base on the dark side of the moon! Everyone knows that. It's common knowledge!"

[Adam West]

I'm not paranoid if there's really someone out to get me.

Can the aliens read my mind while I'm wearing my lead helmet? Is Osama really Dina Shore and Dick Cheney's love child? Was Captain Kangaroo on Acid? All might be revealed soon but only after dipping yourself 7 times in the Jordan river... and I'M NOT crazy!!!

Well if this neighbor made any threats to you, I would call the police. I think we all have a crazy neighbor or two. I have been keeping my eye on a teenager who lives near us who is particularly disturbing to me since I have kids of my own. His parents seem nice but I do know he was adopted so I'm sure there is a lot to the story I don't know. I always thought he was a troublemaker from day one....when my son was 5 now 12, I caught the kid redhanded trying to steal some of my son's more desirable Pokemon cards and years ago, he made some unwanted sexual advances on one of my daughter's neighbor friends when she was about 6 and he was about 11 at the time. He sort of disappeared (doesn't go to the public school in town) but I saw him the other day leaning against a lamp post. It was at least 95 degrees outside and he had on a black knit hat, long sleeved black clothes, dragging a cigarette and just scowled at me like I had done something awful to him even though I haven't seen him in years. I told my wife, he is really bad news and want to make sure our kids don't go anywhere near him.

[dumbldor]

And I'm sure, Adam West, this kid's behavior has a lot to do with the fact he is adopted.

I should have my sister, my father, or even my little son, all adopted and therefore deviants for sure, kick your butt and save your neighbor the trouble.

[Comic Book Geek]

I'm just playing around. I don't think my neighbor is at all dangerous... at least I hope not. Your neighbor sounds scary. I've always had a policy of being extra nice to neighborhood kids that i thought could be trouble. If they go on a killing spree i want to be the one they spare. Next time you see him offer him some gum... or your wallet... or some black mittens, it sounds like he's chilly.

[ctc]

>The crazy conspiracy theorist will always act indignant if you don't immediatley buy it.

....'cos they don't actually have an argument. My fave was the guy at work who believed the government had bugged his shoes, because his uncle was a bigshot in the Navy.

*sigh* I've often suspected that this sort of thing was a subconcious response to feeling really powerless and inconsequential. Only I have the SECRET KNOWLEDGE that THEY don't want you to know!!!

I'm special!

Most guys like this are harmless. They don't really have the nerve to DO anything. (But if you notice them stockpiling rifles 'cos "Revelations tells me to!!!!" you might consider moving....)

And the kid in the toque is either a Goth or a Scary. They aren't too dangerous either. We have tons of them here in town, and if they get uppity a jab to the thorax usually settles their hash but good.

Don C.