I know I shouldn't do it because it validates my email address but I'm really tempted to respond to the 500 million spam emaills I get from people claiming they need my bank account number to initiate a fund transfer to hold for them "in trust".....or that I won something.....or that they have a job for me.
Since they are all so stupid and poorly worded I think I will respond today with the following email.
"Dear Sir and Madam and dogs and cats,
I thank you for contacting me so abruptly and enjoying my cheese so well. I am in fact truthfully at peace with bonding out two selves together in the mutual admiration of business and trustful good will. If I may please, however, representative of my good hygeine and best will, insist that our bond of financial lovemaking be predicated and in fact entered into only after such a time as we have formed the most intimate personal bond as friends and soul mates.
It is for this reason that I request that we meditate at once and imediately well together as we commonly focus on our advocate and in between friends in the sea, the Sea Chicken. Only at once, and immediately thereupon receipt of our mutual agreement to summon a positive bond of friendship with the Sea Chicken named "Sally" can we then expect to achieve the dreams and good fortunes that lay beyond the golden tree tops of love and financial wealth that achieves the best of all humanity.
Please contact my secretary and my best hound dog "Sadie" at your earliest convenience to assure me of our new found love.
All in trust and best with honor,
Bill Goodstuff"
I figure there are so many screwed up grammatical constructions and odd words in there that will keep them guessing for hours.
Since they are all so stupid and poorly worded I think I will respond today with the following email.
"Dear Sir and Madam and dogs and cats,
I thank you for contacting me so abruptly and enjoying my cheese so well. I am in fact truthfully at peace with bonding out two selves together in the mutual admiration of business and trustful good will. If I may please, however, representative of my good hygeine and best will, insist that our bond of financial lovemaking be predicated and in fact entered into only after such a time as we have formed the most intimate personal bond as friends and soul mates.
It is for this reason that I request that we meditate at once and imediately well together as we commonly focus on our advocate and in between friends in the sea, the Sea Chicken. Only at once, and immediately thereupon receipt of our mutual agreement to summon a positive bond of friendship with the Sea Chicken named "Sally" can we then expect to achieve the dreams and good fortunes that lay beyond the golden tree tops of love and financial wealth that achieves the best of all humanity.
Please contact my secretary and my best hound dog "Sadie" at your earliest convenience to assure me of our new found love.
All in trust and best with honor,
Bill Goodstuff"
I figure there are so many screwed up grammatical constructions and odd words in there that will keep them guessing for hours.
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